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Old 05-12-2011, 06:25 PM   #1
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what Kitty had said, that day in Stamford Hill - that I was too much like a boy.
192
I remembered Mrs Dendy's reaction, when I had posed for her in trousers: She's too real. The very suit that I had worn then -the blue serge suit that Walter had given me on New Year's Eve - was here, beneath my bed,MBT Wave, still crumpled in the sailor's bag with all the other costumes that I'd taken from the Brit, I slid from the mattress and drew the bag free, and in a moment I had all the suits upon the floor. They lay about me, impossible handsome and vivid in that colourless room: all the shades and textures of my former life, with all the scents and songs of the music hall, and my old passion,MBT Raha, in their seams and creases.
For a second I sat trembling: I feared the memories would overcome me,mbt outlet, and set me weeping again. I almost returned the costumes to the bag - but then I took a breath, and willed my hands to steady and my dampening eyes to dry. I placed my hand upon my breast - upon the heaviness, and the darkness, that had so strengthened me.
I picked up the blue serge suit and shook it. It was horribly creased, but apart from that not damaged at all by its confinement to the bag. I tried it on, with a shirt and a neck-tie. I had become so thin that the trousers sagged about my waist; my hips were narrower, my breasts even shallower, than before. All that spoilt the illusion of my being a boy was the foolish, tapered jacket - but its seams had not been cut, I saw, only tucked and sewn. There was a knife on the mantel that I used to slice my bread; I seized it, and applied it to the stitches. Soon the jacket was its old, masculine self again. With my hair trimmed, I thought, and a pair of proper boy's shoes upon my feet, anyone - even Kitty herself! - might meet me on the streets of London, and never know me for a girl, at all.
There were one or two obstacles to be overcome, of course, before I could begin to put my daring plan into practice. Firstly, I must properly reacquaint myself with the city: it took another we
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