7 top-level psychological prognoses strongly suggested! Seven good enough for a lifetime of psychological allegory
(a) the growth of fable: the growth of apple trees will not do a
an apple tree, and finally the result.
the first year, which bring an end to ... with 10 apples, 9 were taken away, they receive one. In rejoinder, angry apple trees, then slitting off,
nike air 180, in turn, refused to grow. The next year, it bears a 5 apples, 4 were taken away, they receive one.
However, it can do: continue to grow. For example, the second year, it bears the 100 fruit, 90 were taken away, they receive 10.
is likely, it is taken away 99, they receive one. But no matter, it can continue to grow fruit the third year-end 1000 ... ...
fact, how much fruit is not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! Such as apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be feeble to negligible power. Really, do not anxiety so much about the fruit, the growth is the most important. Psychological Review】 【
you are not a has been broken since the meridians of the emigrant workmen?
started work, you gifted, high-spirited, I deem that But the reality presently buffet a few of your Sap, perhaps, you made a great contribution for the element that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only by verbal emphasis on affordable; maybe ... ... In short, you feel like the apple tree , bear the fruit of their own to enjoy only a small part, and falls far short of your expectations.
So, you are offended, upset you, do you grumble ... ... In the end, you decide not to work so hard, to do to match their own income. After the quondam few annuals, as you reflect on that now you have not fair the work of enthusiasm and artist of the time.
But the essence is that you have stopped growing.
such stories teem approximately us.
why make such errors, because we forget that life is a excursion, a whole, we think we have grown over, now is the time of the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, and forget the growth is the most important.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of self-off passages. We stand ready to give up act so, continue to push toward growth route.
Remember: If you are a working group, met do not comprehend management, treatment or error management wild boss or corporate mores, then, to caution ourselves about, do not disgruntled for of the anger and the self-off passages. No matter what, must do an apple tree will never grow because you always grow important than how much money each month.
(b) the motivation of the parable: the child in whom a group of children playing
frolic in front of an elderly, sounds a large handle. Over the past few days, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each baby,
Love on the Line in the QQ, said to them: merry, the next day is still coming, as forever, playfulness. Come out to the retired and gave each child 15 cents. He annotated namely he had no earnings, only a small to some. It likewise can be 15 cents, kid are still happily away.
the third day, the age male gave only 5 cents for each child.
children with anger, Psychological Review】 【
whom you .
two types of human motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. If the internal motivation to deed in accordance with, we are masters of their own. If we are driven along external motivation, we will be swung at external factors to become enslaved by it.
In this fable, the calculation is simple for the elderly, who will the children's internal motivation elements, so it manipulated the children's behavior. Fables of the elderly, a lot like your boss, boss? And cents, like not like your wages, dividends and other varieties of external awards?
such as the external evaluation as a reference border, our feelings can lightly fluctuate. Because we can not control external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, let us disappointed, let us grumble. Gripe and let negative emotions such as pain, in mandate to dilute the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to dilute the work effort.
A human can form an external evaluation system, the most important reason is that parents like to control him. Parents too choose to use verbal rewards and disciplines, material stimuli and other control children, not to bypass the child's own motivation. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. School, he has forgotten the original motivation for studying --- curiosity and delight of studying; work, he forgot the original motivation of the work --- the delight of growth, the evaluation of superiors and income fluctuations into his work the largest source of happiness and pain.
Remember: the external appraisal system is often a kin history, but you can damage it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into a
(c) Planning fable: a chip of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your mission is to fold it 51 times. So, How high?
a refrigerator? Floor? Or a skyscraper so high? No, a big alteration, the thickness more than the distance between Earth and the Sun. Psychological Review】 【
to now, I obtain inquired a dozen folk in this legend, only two people said that this may be one unimaginable height, when others calculate of the height of the maximum That is a high skyscraper.
folded height of 51 such terror, but if only the 51 pearly paper stacked together?
This contrast made numerous people feel shocked. Because there is no intention, absence of planning in life, like the 51 White uncomplicated stacked. Doing this today, tomorrow little bit of that, each period there is no link between exertions. In this way, even if each work is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a easy superposition.
, of course, life is more complex than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, they reached the other end of life unattainable height. For sample, I have a friend for your life is English, he spent more than a ten-year efforts, only the memories of the word reached the quantity of ten million and more, at this point to reach the mean person can not match the height.
some people, and their direction in life is also very remove, case in point, to start a enterprise boss,
nike air max 90 bonus Human life ambition meet the four, so they absence a lot of capabilities --- capabilities, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may attempt doing this in the beginning, and try doing that, none is especially adept, but in the end, open the company boss in the direction of these seemingly spread the previous integration efforts together, which is a kinds of intricate folding in life, prefer than simply additive.
Remember: the power of sight more serviceable than the invisible forces.
Now, the popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as Success, that we depend on some marvel of life can be saved. However, in my opinion, Counseling Center, Dongguan Heng Yuan consultant Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, shirk the fables: cat escape the shadow of the cheats
, Tom and Toby found, at the peak of the sun appeared, they will see that they are mad for their own shadow.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Approach is to Toby, always reside in the shadows of other things.
【Comments】
mental note of this fable, a little mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can say that all psychological problems are derived from the distortion of the facts. What facts? We chiefly those suffering negative events.
because of the pain experience, we do not want to face the negative events. However, once happened, negative events that is destined to be with us for life, we can do them up but is quelled into the subconscious to go, this is the so-called forgotten.
However, their subconscious will still persist to play a character. And, even if we have forgotten the fact that powerful again, the pain associated with these facts would still aggression us, let us somehow sad, and can not be suppressed. This pain Let us further effort to escape.
evolution to the end, the usual solution is to these two: both, as we like the cat Tom and entirely twisting their experience of life in all the important facts are ignored negate; or, we, like cat care than as, simply join their anguish, his own anything were very wrong, since everything is so bad, that make their most sad event is not so elemental pain.
clouds mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of pill users had a painful experience. The reason they did drugs to make themselves to escape the pain. It's like conceal in the shadows, painful truth is a demon, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell itself to a greater devil. There are many alcoholism
adults, they have had an alcoholic and abusive father, dad survive a lot of torture. To forget the pain, they learn the same way. In adding to these visible
erroneous path, we humans have contrived a myriad of all kinds of ways to run suffering, Freud referred to these methods of psychological ward mechanisms. Too bitter, these ward mechanisms is essential,
air max 95 neon, but aggravate, if the perversion of the truths of psychological defense mechanism is so intense, it will take a more psychological problems, such for obsessive-compulsive disorder, social nervousness disorder, multiple personality, or even schizophrenia.
actually only one way to reach a healthy --- face the pain. Facing the pain would get a lot from the pain of accidental acquisitions, they will finally become the life of the celebration of wealth.
Remember: shadow and light, as are the wealth of life.
one of the most major psychological decree is, no matter how painful, you are no escape. You can only go gallant face it and decide it, further it, and it eventually reached a settlement. If you own a transient absence of power, you can detect help, find friends and relatives for aid, or quest professional assist, accompany you trust with you to face the ache.
Rogers, American psychologist, was the most solitary person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true main of interpersonal relationships; American psychologist Frank has a brutal and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mama, but when he challenges the fact and, afterward, from the center to forgive his parents, he became an expert in this area treatment; Japanese psychologist Morita horse was being solemn neurological disorder, but he challenges the fact and through Morita treatment eventually invented the ... ... their most painful fact of life eventually became their most important things. You can do the same.
(e) behavior fable --- crabs, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to cram on the accustomed. Few years later, they graduate and win a doctorate. However, the crab is still rampant, owls slumber during the day and evening activities are still the bat still hung upside down. Psychological Review】 【
This is even prominent master of a fable, and its meaning is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health,
nike atmosphere max shoes inexpensive Love needs 2, this fable is also thought-provoking.
called profound knowledge of psychology. However, the more even the best knowledge of psychology help a person does not automatically become more healthy. In fact, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, they learn one of the intentions of psychology is to rule themselves, but after so many years of school, their problems remain.
reason why this happens, a very important reason is, they do not individually, just far away as the knowledge of knowledge, knowledge, and not into their own life experience.
an of my friends favor psychology, has been considered less acute than those of psychology,
air max 95 neon, not suitable for Psychology. But the fact is that presumption is not correct. He is not sensitive enough, but he has a very big advantage: to understand a nice perception instantly in their own lives to do it. As a result, the knowledge that becomes a far real life experience, he does not
If we say that the quality of high sensitivity is a talent, then the power is more important Gao talent quality.
this fable can bring ... to an end of another meaning: Do not expect too many the wizardry of the secret psychological manipulation. Always the most important force in your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, the latent development of recondite, dazzling success and so ahead, are distant inferior to the power of your own body has been important. We used to go outside to find the response to something another seeing for strength, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not automatically retention you.
punch if some renju touched you, if some text or a fashionable creed inspired you. So, these other people's words and experience are just a start, more importantly, a good knowledge you think you really use in your own life to go. Jewish philosopher Martin Buber
these words, I have always considered the most important:
you must start their own. If you do not love to go deep in a positive life, if you do not own way to reveal the meaning of life for themselves, then for you, life will remain insignificant.
(VI) to give the Fables:
bees and flowers withered roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it takes ahead sucking off from this little sweet. But now in this little to spend, the bees suck the venom.
bees know this, because the venom bitter taste is the big distinction with the previous. Thus, bees anger, although, exhale on it the whole earth looked up to complain about, why the savor changed? !
Finally one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, flying a bit high. At this time, it found, shriveled roses around the flowers everywhere. Psychological Review】 【
This is the fable about love, is a juvenile language educator of the true emotion.
some time, she was falling out of love, painful, and always wanted to speak about me, I hope I can give her some knowledge of psychology help. We have some time, but almost two months later, the aggregate time they can not happen to get together.
the last time about her, she said: The pain of lost love is still plagued her, let her trance, unable to enjoy the beauty of Jiuzhaigou. Inadvertently, she noticed a little on the honey bee is a flower. That moment, her idea like thunder and lightning seemed in one sentence: was such a silly, she's the bees in this sentence refers to her own way. That moment, she had to give up the fact out of insight. Previously, she wanted me to help her out, but in fact, the long wings in her own body, she can fly to fly.
give up is not easy to give up love, primarily painful. Because, love is when our young copy of parent-child relationship. Small children, no matter from which side, parents can not do without. If a complete denial of his father and mother, and that means necrosis for him, this is the final impair and fear. We have experienced hardly ever been denied parents the pain and alarm, so when love --- of copies of the parent-child relationship once again we experience the pain and alarm, our emotions can easily become very bad.
However, likened to love and parent-child relationship, there is a colossal difference: a child, nothing we can do, all parents have the final mention; But now we grow up, we have the power to choose their own destiny. It can be said, a child, we do not have wings bee, but now we have a pair of mighty wings.
However, when profoundly in love, we will return to childhood, we forget that they have a pair of wings to fly. When we fulfil that, behind their love is no longer automatically copy parent-child relationship, our love was free, there is a give up power.
Remember: Love is two things, two completely equal, neutral and human dignity thing. You can work, but not that hard for you there will be results, because variant person, you can not decide.
So,
nike shoes dunks, no matter how much you care about the time love, if another person insistent to depart you, amuse esteem his alternative.
And also memorize, you are no longer a child, are left with the pain of torture. You have grown up, you have a pair of powerful wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison.
(g) close to the fable: the unique Rose
Little Prince has a small planet, the planet suddenly blooming flower blooming roses. Previously, only some nameless on this planet the flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers, he fell in love with this rose, carefully nurtured her.
those days, he thought, this is a distinctive flower aboard globe, only his only planet, additional areas do not exist.
, however, so he came to Earth and found that there is a garden just the same as 5000 of this flower. At this time, he knows that he only have an ordinary flower.
the opening, this discovery, let the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand,
2010 airmax, though there are many roses in the world, but his planet tis is still unique because that rose, he had water, cover flowers to cover her with a screen protection over , in addition to her body caterpillars, but also to hear to her grumbled, or boasted, listening to pacify her ... ... a word, and he tamed her, and she tamed him, she is his unique roses.
Psychological Review】 【
This is a French classic
face of 5000 roses, the little prince said: But now we empty the increasingly popular We are worried to have
. Seems that each has had a rose, the worth of their own lives to Duoliaoyifen. Internet old, with several ten lover, is no longer a rare thing too. But I know who these random, no one is empty. They do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
But once owned, they will quickly lose interest in this intimate relationship. the stronger the desire to conquer, the faster the rate of wastage. charming.
However, the relationship among the United States, nearly two inputs is the extent and degree to be tamed. When two people are certainly going into, certainly, be tamed, the relationship will become a life nutrition, so that a person's life becomes more filling and more beautiful.
However, not material how near. The Little Prince namely still Prince, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. Rose not apt travel if the tiny prince, little prince alternatively non-travel the roses with me, they have to stick attach, the relationship is not longer enjoy, yet ambition chance a burden.
Remember: either a close and mutually independent relationship, the relationship is better than a thousand common. This relationship will bring us the sense of solitude from the hopeless liberate is the most important in our lives a kind of salvation.
If you have not capable, you can not know the beauty of this relationship.