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e. I simply did not know. I could think only of what I had seen when she had gestured. The cowling had slipped away and I had gotten a glimpse of what she had become. It had not been a human face, there within the shadows. But I turned my head and watched until she was gone. With Deirdre, Brand and Dad gone, and now a parting with Dara on these terms, the world was much emptier-whatever was left of it.
I lay back and sighed. Why not just remain here when the others departed, wait for the storm to wash over me, and sleep . . . dissolve? I thought of Hugi. Had I digested his flight from life as well as his flesh? I was so tired that it seemed the easiest course. . . .
"Here, Corwin."
I had been dozing again, though only for a moment. Fiona was beside me once more,MBT Wave, with rations and a flask. Someone was with her.
"I did not wish to interrupt your audience," she said. "So I waited."
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"We will be moving soon," Fiona said, casting a glance at the raging stormfront. "Can you ride?"
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I took another drink of the wine.
"But too much has happened, Fi," I told her. "I have gone numb emotionally. I broke out of a sanitarium on a shadow world. I have tricked people and I've killed people. I have calculated and I have fought. I won back my memory and I have been trying to straighten out my life. I have found my family, and found that I love it. I have been reconciled with Dad. I have fought for the kingdom. I have tried everything I know to hold things together. Now it appears that it has all come to nothing, and I have not enough spirit left to mourn further. I have gone numb. Forgive me."
She kissed me.
"We are not yet beaten. You will be yourself again," she said.
I shook my head.
"It is like the last chapter of Alice" I said. "

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