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(survey will open in a new window) Opinion Just Another John on the Prowl ,2011 wedding dresses
If the 25th anniversary is silver and the 50th is gold, then the 33rd must be platinum (blonde).
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Goggy and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary last week and it got me thinking about prostitution.
Uh,discount sweetheart gowns , wait … I’d better start over.
Goggy and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary last week in Las Vegas and, as is so often the case in that particular municipality, our eyes unintentionally landed on quite a few of, well, let’s call them ladies of the evening. And we’re not talking back-alley, HBO documentary types here; most of these girls in the upscale hotel bars look as if they just stepped off a Hollywood red carpet.
Of course most of us couldn’t afford to kiss one of these ladies’ hands, but it got me thinking: Let’s say Goggy left me and I won one of these $1-million progressive slot machine jackpots. Would I employ one of these women?
The thing is, I’ve never been with a prostitute because of my high moral standards … and a little streak of chicken. Well, maybe a wide swath of chicken. OK, I’ve never been to a cathouse because I belong in a henhouse.
There have been opportunities,custom made wedding dresses, though. I didn’t get married until 29 and a sportswriter traveling with a gaggle of other sportswriters—some of whom are single, many of whom act like they are—is going to have been in some strip clubs,wedding prom cheap dresses  Fun fact, nightclubs and hotel bars in the presence of prostitutes. (And,empire dresses waist , of course, since I covered pro sports, there were whores everywhere … agents,sale off shoulder dresses , players,fashionable long dresses , club officials, you name it.)
So, while there are no up-close-and-personal stories to relate—I can feel your relief—there is a wealth of experience as an observer from afar. I guess it runs in the family. The Stay-at-Home-Mom with the master’s degree and the Sous Chef were in their teens when we stayed one night at a Waikiki hotel on the way to Kauai. They spent most of the evening identifying and following the “stories” of the girls of Honolulu from the balcony of our 14th-floor room.
“You can tell which ones are hookers, Dad, because they carry a bottle of water,sale gowns bridesmaid dresses ,” the sous chef in making announced.
“Look,red wedding dress,” the who-would-have-guessed-a-master’s-degree-was-in-the-future high school junior said,cocktail dress cheap , “That old Japanese guy is walking away from ‘Red Dress.’ Guess they couldn’t make a deal.”
Well, the oldest profession is, after all, a cash-and-carry-on business. And a lot goes into a decision like this … especially if you make it while you’re sober.
Being a father of two adult daughters, the thought of “Pretty in Pink” evolving into “Pretty Woman” is pretty uncomfortable,plus size prom dress Thursday and Thursday night., so, stipulation No. 1 would require the potential employee be over the age of 40. (Hey, there are some!) But I’m not sure I could go through with it in any case. It just doesn’t seem very ######y if there is no mutual attraction.
But I don’t sit in judgment of anyone. I keep in touch with a single college friend whose buddy from the Navy has a beach house on the Caribbean. He goes to visit once or twice a year. They go to the beach, eat seafood and sometimes “send out for pizza.” An escort service does the rest. (I’m guessing he doesn’t adhere to my age stipulation.)
The point is prostitution is a victimless crime that doesn’t get me too excited. (Did I already say that?) Let’s face it, it’s not unlike every other bit of human intercourse we undertake every day.
I’ll never forget the kid who opened his suitcase the first day of summer camp to reveal that it was jam-packed full of candy bars. Who needs clean underwear when you have a bunkhouse full of new “best” friends? The point is, people buy and sell friendship all the time,military ball gowns, and maybe it’s pathetic,long fashionable dresses available , but it’s not against the law. Why should ###### be any different?
Yes, I’d be horrified to see one of my daughter’s faces—and whatever else—on one of those billboards for the phone-order girls that they tow up and down The Strip. But then I wouldn’t want either of my kids to become a leader of the Nazi party either. I don’t believe fascists should be jailed just because they’re selling hate—mocked,long fashionable available dresses , tarred and feathered would be OK—so why arrest people for selling love … or at least a physical approximation?
Always supportive of my efforts to delve into sociological conundrums—maybe the four glasses of Pinot Noir had something to do with it—Goggy suggested I interview a statuesque beauty at the bar with yard-long platinum locks straight out of a hair-product commercial, classic-beauty facial bone structure and crystal blue eyes.
I very much wanted to, uh,short prom dresses 2010, get to the bottom of this issue, but I declined for a couple of reasons. First, there’s always the chance she was just a pretty young woman who likes to hang out by herself in the same bar night after night—and how awkward would that be? And, second, there’s no way we would see eye-to-eye … she was about 6-3 in her stocking feet and was wearing like nine-inch stiletto heels.  (It would’ve been one of those times when you’re trying desperately not to look at a woman’s chest and you end up with a crick in your neck for the trouble.)
It’s hard to be in Las Vegas, at least on The Strip, and not ponder prostitution. Even when you go for a morning walk—when the prostitutes are presumably sleeping—there are folks walking the street handing out coupons for the streetwalkers. (They’re sort of baseball cards for prostitutes … with no need for a statistic about strikeouts.)
These are the “direct-to-you” girls who show up at your hotel room after you give the service a call. It seems like a risky business proposal, but it goes both ways. Those “service providers” probably are in a much better frame of mind when they’re heading out to the Wynn or the Palazzo than they are if the meeting is scheduled at the Royal Resort. (I think that’s the name of the place … the sign was so faded it’s sort of a guess.)
And I’m betting the girls in the pictures on the cards are unavailable when you call.
“We’re sorry, but Amber is busy. But we’ll be happy to send over Ember.”
(Probably no mention that “Ember” is so named for the burning sensation she leaves you with.)
About this column: John Weyler has lived in Orange County for almost 50 years. His weekly regional columns offer his unique, and often irreverent, take on life in the O.C.