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Old 07-23-2011, 09:41 AM   #1
federnlze
 
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:42 AM   #2
you62ptat
 
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儿子去美国留学,毕业后假寓美国。还给我找了个洋媳妇苏珊。如今,小孙子托比已经3岁了。今年夏天,儿子为 我申请了省亲签证。在美国待了三个月,洋媳妇苏珊教育孩子的方式,令我这个中国婆婆大开眼界。


不吃饭就饿着
天天早上,托比醒来后,chi hair dryer,苏珊把早餐往餐桌上一放,就自顾自地忙去了,chi straighteners。托比会自己爬上凳子,喝牛奶,吃面包片,chi nano hair dryer。吃饱后,他回自己的房间,在衣柜里找衣服、鞋子,再自己穿上。究竟托比只有3岁,还搞不明白子的正背面, 分不清鞋子的左右脚。有一次托比又把裤子穿反了,我赶快上前想帮他换,却被苏珊禁止了。她说,假如他觉得不 舒畅,会自己脱下来,重新穿好;如果他没觉得有什么不舒服,那就随他的便。那一终日,托比反衣着裤子跑来跑 去,苏姗像没看见一样。
又一次,托比出去和街坊家的小友人玩,没多大会就气喘吁吁地跑回家,对苏珊说:“妈妈,露西说我的裤子穿反 了,真的吗?”露西是邻居家的小姑娘,今年5岁。苏姗笑着说:“是的,你要不要换回来?”托比点摇头,自己 脱下裤子,细心看了看,从新穿上了。从那当前,托比再也没穿反过裤子。
我不禁想起,我的外孙女五六岁时不会用筷子,上小学时不会系鞋带。现在在上寄宿制初中的她,每个周末都要带 回家一大堆脏衣服呢。
一天中午,托比闹情感,不肯吃饭。苏珊说了他多少句,恼怒地小托比一把将盘子推到了地上,盘子里的食品洒了 一地。苏姗看着托比,Cheap CHI Flat Iron,当真地说:“看来你确切不想吃饭!记住,从当初到来日早上,你什么都不能吃。”托比点拍板,动摇地答复: “Yes!”我在心里暗笑,这母子俩,还都挺倔!
下战书,苏珊和我磋商,晚上由我做中国菜。我心领神会,托比离别爱吃中国菜,必定是苏珊觉得托比中午没好好 吃饭,想让他晚上多吃点儿。
那天晚上我发挥厨艺,做了托比最爱吃的糖醋里脊、油闷大虾,还用意大利面做了中国式的凉面。托比最爱好吃那 种凉面,小小的人可以吃满满一大盘。
开端吃晚饭了,托比欢欣鼓舞地爬上凳子。苏珊却走过来,拿走了他的盘子和刀叉,说:“咱们已经约好了,今天 你不能吃饭,你本人也许可了的。”托比看着面容严正的妈妈,“哇”地一声在哭起来,边哭边说:“妈妈,我饿 ,我要吃饭。”“不行,说过的话要算数。”苏珊绝不心软。
我心疼了,想替托比求情,说点好话,却见儿子对我使眼色。想起我刚到美国时,儿子就跟我说,在美国,父母教 育孩子时,别人千万不要插手,即便是长辈也不例外。无奈,我只好坚持缄默。
那顿饭,从始至终,可怜的小托比始终坐在玩具车里,眼巴巴地看着我们三个大人饥不择食。我这才清楚苏珊让我 做中餐的真正用意。我相信,下一次,托比想发性格扔饭碗时,一定会想起自己饿着肚子看爸爸妈妈和奶奶享受美 食的阅历。饿着肚子的味道不好受,况且还是面对自己最爱好的食物。
临睡前,我和苏珊一起去向托比道晚安。托比胆大妄为地问:“妈妈,我很饿,现在我能吃中国面吗?”苏珊微笑 着摇摇头,坚定地说:“不!”托比叹了口吻,又问:“那等我睡完觉睁开眼睛时,可以吃吗?”“当然能够。” 苏珊温顺地回答。托比甜甜地笑了。
大局部情形下,托比吃饭都很踊跃,他不想由于“罢吃”而错过食物,再挨饿肚子的苦。每当看到托比埋头大口大 口地吃饭,嘴上脸上粘的都是食物时,我就想起外孙女。她像托比这么大时,为了哄她吃饭,几个大人端着饭碗跟 在她屁股后面跑,她还不买账,还要谈前提:吃完这碗买一个玩具,再吃一碗买一个玩具……


以其人之道,还治其人这身
有一天,我们带托比去公园玩。很快,托比就和两个女孩儿玩起了厨房游戏。塑料小锅、小铲子、小盘子、小碗摆 了一地。突然,调皮的托比拿起小锅,使劲在一个女孩儿头上敲了一下,女孩儿愣了一下,放声大哭。另一个女孩 儿年事更小一些,见些情况,也被吓得大哭起来。大略托比没想到会有这么重大的成果,站在一旁, 停住了。
苏珊走上前,开清了事情的前因后果后,她一声不吭,拿起小锅,使劲敲到托比的头上,托比没防范,一下子跌坐 在草地上,哇哇大哭起来。苏珊问托比:“疼吗?下次还这样吗?”托比一边哭,一边拼命摇头。我信任他以后再 也不会这么做了。
托比的舅舅送了他一辆浅蓝色的小自行车,托比十分喜欢,当成法宝,Best CHI Straighteners,不许别人碰。邻居小姑娘露西是托比的好朋友,恳求托比好几次,要骑他的小车,托比都没允许。
一次,几个孩子一起玩时,露西趁托比不留神,偷偷骑上小车,扬长而去。托比发明后,cheap chi straighteners,愤慨地跑来向苏珊告状。苏珊正和几个孩子的母亲一起聊天喝咖啡,便微笑着说:“你们的事件自己解决,妈妈 可管不了。”托比无奈地走了。
过了一小会儿,露西骑着小车回来了。托比看到露西,一把将她推倒在地,抢过了小车。露西坐在地上大哭起来。 苏珊抱起露西,安抚了她一会儿。很快,露西就和别的小朋友乐不可支地玩了起来。
托比自己骑了会车,觉得有些无聊,看到那几个孩子玩得那么愉快,他想参加,又认为有些不好心思。他蹭到苏珊 身边,嘟囔道:“妈妈,我想跟露西他们一起玩。”苏珊不留余地地说:“那你自己去找他们啦!”“妈妈,你陪 我一起去。”托比请求道。“那可不行,方才是你把露西弄哭的,现在你又想和大家玩,就得自己去 解决问题。”
托比骑着小车缓缓凑近露西,快到她身边时,又掉头回来。往返好几次,不知道从什么时候开始,托比和露西又喜 逐颜开,闹成了一团。


管教孩子是父母的事
苏珊的父母住在加利福尼亚州,据说我来了,两人开车来看望我们。家里来了客人,托比很高兴,跑上跑下地乱窜 。他把玩沙子用的小桶装满了水,提着小桶在屋里到处转悠。苏珊忠告了她好几回,不要把水洒到地板上,托比置 若罔闻。最后,托比仍是把水桶弄倒了,水洒了一地。高兴的小托比不感到自己做错了事,还自得地光着脚丫踩水 玩,把裤子全弄湿了。我立刻找出拖把筹备拖地。苏珊从我手中抢过拖把交给托比,对他说:“把地拖干,把湿衣 服脱下来,自己洗清洁。”托比不乐意,又哭又闹。苏珊二话不说,直接把他拉到储藏室,关了禁闭。听到托比在 里面发出惊天动地的哭喊,我疼爱坏了,想进去把他抱出来。托比的外婆却拦住我,说:“这是苏珊 的事。”
过了一会儿,托比不哭了,他在贮藏室里大声喊:“妈妈,我错了。”苏珊站在门外,问:“那你知道该怎么做了 吗?”“我知道。”苏珊翻开门,托比从贮藏室走出来,脸上还挂着两行泪珠。他拿起有他两个高的拖把吃力地把 地上的水拖干净。而后,他脱下裤子,拎在手上,光着屁股走进洗手间,稀里哗啦地洗起衣服来。
托比的外公外婆看着表情惊奇的我,象征深长地笑了。这件事让我感想颇深。在很多中国度庭,父母管教孩子时, 经常会引起“世界大战”,往往是外婆外公护,爷爷奶奶拦,夫妻吵架,鸡飞狗跳。
后来,我和托比的外公外婆聊地利,提到这件事,托比的外公说了一段话,让我印象深入。他说,孩子是父母的孩 子,首先要尊敬父母对孩子的教育方法。孩子虽然小,却是生成的外交家,当他看到家庭成员之间呈现分歧时,他 会很聪慧地钻空子。这不仅对改良他的行动毫无好处,反而会导致问题越来越严峻,甚至带来更多别的问题。而且 ,家庭成员之间发生矛盾,不协调的家庭气氛会带给孩子更多的不保险感,对孩子的心理发展发生不利影响。所以 ,无论是父辈与祖辈在教育孩子的问题上产生不合,还是夫妻两人的教育观点有差别,都不能在孩子眼前发生抵触 。
托比的外公外婆在家里住了一周,预备回加利福尼亚了。临走前两天,托比的外公郑重地问女儿:“托比想要一辆 玩具挖掘机,我可以买给他吗?”苏珊想了想,说:“你们这次来,已经送给他一双旱冰鞋作为礼物了,到圣诞节 时,再买玩具挖掘机当礼物送给他吧!”
我不晓得托比的外公是怎么告知小家伙的,后来我带托比去超市,他指着玩具发掘机说:“外公说,圣诞节时,给 我买这个当礼物。”语气里满是惊喜跟等待。
固然苏珊对托比方此严厉,托比去却对妈妈爱得不得了。他在外面玩时,会采集一些难看的小花或者他以为美丽的 叶子,慎重其事地送给妈妈;别人送给他礼物,他会叫妈妈和他一起拆开;有什么好吃的,也总要留 一半给妈妈。
想到许多中国孩子对父母的疏忽与冷漠,我不得不信服我的洋媳妇。在我看来,在教导孩子的问题上,美国妈妈有 良多值得中国妈妈学习的处所。
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:28 PM   #3
stuv969
 
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