Parent-child relations in a comprehensive skills

This book is in October 1998, a month's time I write out of expiration. Recall that the dominating mood: Jinger (first wife) died of heart pain also; just returned from the United States of NLP Diploma NLP University graduate level back enthusiasm; see the journal weeklies, magazines, television coverage, full of tragic stories , if adults or the children involved, the reasons behind all the parties in the process of growing children, not to establish a good mental health. At that time, I have accumulated much experience in a number of instructors NLP courses, but also privately accepted the cases of some psychological counseling. Students and by those who see the guide has improved, rejoicing, but also can not help but think about the root occasions of their problems. A conclusion is the same: a child growing up, did not develop a good mental health.

and Jinger's family life, there are many pessimistic area. In the two and between the two with the kids, there are a lot of problems, mostly my responsibility. After 20 years of marriage in 1992, I adjoined the NLP, kas long asthe opener to the solution, but a lot of things, although, it is yet too late. Reflect on my own source of the problem, the conclusion remains the same: in my children growing up, did not develop a good mental health.

I see: either NLP alternatively do I educate how forcible counseling are fair a temporary solution only. Babies nativity today, 30 annuals afterward I still ascertain learning NLP or counseling because him, unless the baby was growing up, to send up a agreeable cerebral health. Thought of this, the heart of a power flowed, the result is that the child's book.

most of the parents, is act its mind and strive for one goal: to make children grow up best. But, they often fail to look forward to hard work results, as they thought, speech and behavior, by the orthodox mores, social status, he debated the before generation, etc., can only repeat elapse practices. Even if parents realize that there is a change essential, it is complicated to find books or courses to improve themselves.

there are still some parents do not even muse I need to change. Appear unsuccessful for life, not happy, they are blaming outer factors: society, world, administration, culture, fashion, work pressure, the World Wind (Kusakabe), the environment, other people, even establish a good mental health, that is, disability in character. Character of a person can not do without, because he needed a character to deal with every moment in life appears to do. But that is not to make the character nourish that he has improved to make their own changes. Children always begin from a blank canvas. The main source of his study is his parents, if parents have not changed, children will only inherit the same thought and behavior patterns.

this writing, there namely no bookstore in the case of assignment, even selling the 6000, really startled me. This is indeed no for I jot well (I have a little self-knowledge), yet for this learning is indeed a top priority today's society; parents absence to understand and effortless to do some of the conceptions and techniques. My second book, (NLP - assist become extra successful and happy life of knowledge) successfully into a bookstore, this parent-child book tin likewise be a outcome of the wider market exposure. I resolved to conduct a comprehensive modification of the content. Mr Wilson Cheng added illustrations to make the book glamor. I also thank Miss Chen Huiya Mr. Huang Guanchang re-layout and marketing go.
A lot of people's life, are much the impact of childhood. Every day children are worth our care, let us love with the right to treat our children.


NLP based parenting beliefs

1, the child is born, they love, believe and comply their parents.
2, then the wrong action of children is not for parents.
3, parents give their children love nothing another can substitute.
4, children continue to learn, even when he was disturbed when they are the worst.
5, every child has made him a successful and happy life with all the necessary capabilities, the parents just to have this ability to help him loosen.
6, the child's intelligence and ability are regular, however he did not care about what parents care about.
7,GHD Precious Gift Set, any perform is not equivalent to the all people.
8, there is forever a better way, only to find that the parents willing to give.
9, parents of every child to grow the biggest determinant of results.
10, always of the improvement of parent-child relationship, we have to first get down to parents, some of the changes.

Parents please remember:
appetite to be different children, parents must be in their thoughts, speech, behavior and emotional statement is different.
they are not arranged to change, but want to change the child's parents are not successful.



correct attitude of parents
for personality in the face of a child, parents should use the correct attitude to look at their identity:
(1) Parents not Superman, not perfect people, parents just ordinary people. Therefore, parents need to recognize their own:
· will conquer, will fail.
· the mood is good, but also in a bad mood.
· than some smart than some people stupid.
· ability in a digit of things, in some other languid things.
· can not have everything you want.
· can never be wrong.

(2) parents and kid have the same needs. Because both parents and kid, so:
· parents absence apt be esteemed at others; children for well.
· parents want to be treated fairly; children as well.
· parents want others to their kind, friendly; children as well.
· parents want to do well when someone appreciates; children as well.
· parents want to do well, it was the understanding and encouragement; children as well.
· When sadness, anxiety,GHD Blue Straighteners, reduced, while parents want to aid friends and comfort; children as well.

(3) parents of the child's parents is always, always give the child love and support. So:
· children succeed, parents share the joy.
· kids happy, parents feel happy.
· children continue to learn and progress, parents continue to be encouraged and appreciated.
· down pick behind up each child, parents have to support it.

(4) parents with speech and behavior to achieve the upon reason, so said and done the same:
· in front of children, parents need not always right, successful, happy.
· parents are not afraid of the children admit its mistakes.
· the face of the child, parents do not hide the interior emotions.
· parents do not must worry that their child will thus become vulnerable.
parents in a normal, easy way to show that he / she is such, is ample to bring an end to ... their life voyage, the children will indeed sincere, confident and positive attitude to create their lives .



ten basic tips for parent-child relationship

(a) no two people are the same.
◎ No two human are absolutely invariable view of the same thing,GHD Red Straighteners, so children of different views and you, nobody curious.
◎ children must have some place better than you, and your strong points, not all children have.
◎ everyone's beliefs,GHD NZ, values ​​and rules are different. So you can not query your child has a completely different temperament.
◎ respect other people's differences, people will respect their unique place. You can accept the child's different, he will accept your opinion of him.
◎ person in a matter can not be supposed in the other person will have the same results. So your experience is a reference to the child, but does not necessarily vouch that the decree is right or possible.

(b) a person can not control another person
◎ one can not change another person. Change themselves, their children will likely make the suitable changes.
◎ a person can not Therefore, there is no to accept dissimilar set. children have their own set. understand his set, from his point of view, it is most likely to accept your attitude.

(c) The meaning of communication depends on the other side's response
◎ what is not said to myself, what is major to hear each other. always accented that he did not mention how the correct use, the child receives a message meant for him what was important.
◎ listened by the child to understand, to accept the language of talking to him will have the greatest effect.
◎ words have no effect controlled by the spokesman, the listener decide. the child's reaction acquaint you to say no effect, you can change the words of the text and means to control effects.
◎ direction to alteration that, have a accident to change the listening results. no efficacy dialectic, the more that child will be more do not approve the results worse.

(d) the child is to follow the parent's behavior and emotions, and not the parents directions
◎ parents in dealing with the behavior of one thing, the children saw, the afterward times will follow suit.
◎ children look their parents when faced with a position reacts, it will speculation that it is correct. and the same thing in their face will make the same response.
◎ speech or book their own child's body and mind can not produce a learning effect in behavioral or emotional responses. so little effect teaching manner discipline.
◎ parent's instructions, if children do not understand the language model with the publish, will so that the child is difficult to follow. must first consider the child would not understand, it nails the opening.

(e) All acts must have its positive motivation
◎ everyone to meet their inner Some need to do things. all acts of the child has its positive significance, but he does not know can not say.
◎ parents need to divide the child's behavior and motivation. the ecology of children's behavior is bad or futile We should be denied, but the children always try to offer to upgrade their knowledge and ability, we must be sure that his motivation for this.
◎ discovered that the child's positive motivation behind the act, to be sure, in guiding children to find another more effective approach, this is the easiest way to accept your child.
◎ emotion and motivation are not wrong, but the choice of reach failed to achieve the desired results. emotional strength or the intention of the child, the child would like to maintain motivation improve the heart, to help children to nail effective practice is the responsibility of the parents.

(f) a better way, everyone will follow
◎ refused to change because not find a better methods. children must understand that their method is more effective, he would accept, and accordingly change.
◎ permit a person to another way to make him understand more, and cost fewer, that people naturally using that method. children are like everyone, continue to work on this point.
◎ better approach is to help, that is, more choices to each other; clarify a method must be used,GHD Deluxe Midnight 2011, but it is an attempt to treatment of each other. all are greet to help resist manipulation. your children are also greet your help, but will withstand your control.

(g) There should always be by least three solutions at present
◎ not successful, just that the methods accustom even now has not been the expected results. of the child must cling to the results, preferably than insisting on methods.
◎ only believe there is one effective method understood, will have the opportunity to find it and make things change.
◎ on one thing we know way more and more, we do get cracking the greater; for children, too, the more you select, your child fulfill the results you want, the more likely Great.

(h) the growth process is a learning process
◎ children to try different approaches, is to go to find the best one.
◎ happens in children from learning, so he knows how to deal with future experience the same thing.
◎ children to keep trying current methods in order to know which one is best.
◎ curious about the child's life, it is to learn how to clutch more.

(IX) should help children to grow up and not substitute children grow
◎ any attempt to replace children grow up, will eventually be made in the negative effects of the child's body. Children can not learn, reliance and absence of trust will be.
◎ parents on benefit of the children to do the things kids do not get the respect of the child. dependent children love their parents would complain and find mistake.
◎ encourage and guide the children to do their own thing , is the most effective way to help children grow. so that the child can have the ability to grow and can take care of themselves.
◎ child's spontaneous, positive attitude, self-discipline, are related with this point because they need from the to do their own thing source. so the child must have no doubt that this love.
◎ The language of love, if the parents have shown with the conditions, then the child will have the lofty degree of parent-child relationship in doubt. because of this love , parent-child relationship is the foundation and pillar.
◎ If this love to do something because the child lost the case, the child will become more and more do not care approximately it, that is, do not concern about the parent-child relationship. Therefore, do not regard what conditions it out to do.
◎ parents whether their children out conditions to this love as a bargaining piece, the children will be the hereafter of the parents love the most chips. today's society, many parent-child relationship entirely broken, it is for this cause. order main concepts of a chapter, the parents as the correct attitude for the second, ten basic tips for parent-child relationship three, 4 ideal kin context, ashore the growth and the need to teach a child brain development Second, the 5 stages of mental development children three,GHD Purple Straighteners, 4 elderly 0 to 6, 6 to 12 years antique 5 six-over 12, how to help children establish self-worth 7 children 10 to 12-year-old fourth chapter deals with changes in mawkish capabilities the child of a preface, commute type II, Type III discipline, cold type four, five didactic type, EQ type VI, EQ type Seven handle with child affective skills, parent-child Case Discussion Chapter emotional training of a family of basic tips in EQ II, what is emotional intelligence (EQ) Third, how to help children amplify enough EQ four, and five preference entities wreck, and others to determine among Six conflict, responsibility VII, to help children establish self-confidence, self-love and self-esteem Chapter VI good and effective introduction of a parent-child relationship skills, the correct appreciation of the child's usage two, attach with the children's activities (premier period) Third, to cultivate communication between parents and four children should not listen to the kids and how to do six reiterated orders not to help the children to listen to the words of parents, 7, 8 rules for how to keep children, exercising parents to disburse attention to the good behavior of nine children, pay attention to the activities of ten children favor , parent-child relationship 1st assistance kit - Why do not you like to learn three, children's knowledge - the left brain and right brain Fourth, the child's educate - five competitive mentality, three inside the six-sensory competence to learn how to improve the learning ability of children seven or eight children go to educate , 9 victims of the education system, the assorted beliefs of ten children's schooling, to meet the challenges of Chapter VIII of the Elimination of the psychological oppression of parents in the family of general belief and shared values ​​second, breaking the vicious surround of three, four to take the lead in a bad mood, relieve traction five six additional effective methods of decompression, the decompression usage is invalid aboard the marital problems of Chapter IX of the parents of the proposed introduction of a matrimony the parents of two have as yet broken, parents have separated or divorced three, four unattached parents in death of the spouse, children and daughter's letter to the Appendix