Happy with what the

Stumbled, and finished the 26 years of life. A friend asked me, you happy? Me speechless.

What is happiness? I do not know. I even think that he is cursed by the devil's child, condemned to a life not to be blessed. So happy for me, it is an extravagant hope.

In my memory there has been a year younger than me brother, so, the time from my sensible, and said: You are to assume responsibility. So, my memory has always been good, at least I think so right. Almost born, I know the responsibility, to understand things considered comprehensive. Is a stronger woman, always demanding Discount MBT Shoes us. Memory, I always have done something wrong, do not perfect, always will So I go all out performance, hard to learn, want to do a perfect child, to request not to be scolded. But as a child, always have done well in place, so always get full marks from there. No matter how hard I have always not the intention. I clearly have to remember, a weekend, finally one day all that satisfied with the performance of the evening supper, can not help but say that the sentence is not scolded today, finally! A result, I was scolded a meal ... ... of course, is for us, it's just too demanding of us, so my young mind, feel the pressure. I feel it is sensitive to an injury. Nature is also the younger brother with me Aixun, because both of us are always doing things together, always together with the natural mistakes, but every time while getting training, the younger brother about a naughty words, it was belatedly turn anger to joy, could not resist laugh, no matter how hard I also can not learn funny turn anger to joy. Thus, young mind, the very long time and I think that I'm certainly not natural to, or else how would this happen? Until they grow up, many say that I looked like my father, I think so, So, naturally no longer consider themselves hold to the child. It can be kind of strange feeling in my heart left a shadow. Also, it was thought would not be re-thought in light woman trouble, but changed their minds think, father and brother to me no different in other ways.

I also us. I have always felt is the world's greatest pro, really, other parents can do, all do, other parents can not do, nor do. But, I seem to always not so close, what seems to always separated, it may be I'm too sensitive. As the heart too much pressure, have been trying to show good side of high school after a nervous breakdown, once to drop out can not continue their studies. I speak for the broken heart. I remember once, working back from the ground, with rough hands touched my forehead asked me pain better now? That moment, I felt very strange but good awkward, my flood of tears ... ...

I once thought, the Father of our selfless, and I was the happiest child. But do not know why, no matter how I do not know which product the taste of happiness.

Thus, the sinus open for me, is my only sustenance and hope. That letter was warm with 360 of my children, save me from the bottom of you, as the savior of my life, like a do with me and write The results can imagine my life without education: and in life, there are vulgar! He rescued me from depression after he dropped severely in the cliff!

No longer living in the light haze should mold. Anxious and unwilling to life the theme. However, life is not so, perhaps, not without a life can not be true to life, always have to be happy only through painful Cang. The years, been having unbearable chaos. That has been silently with me, hurt me, unprincipled hurt me, my daughter the same as the relationship. Perhaps the young do not understand, then, I do not feel happy, Shen blindly in life aside from complaints of reluctance. Until one day, the song chance of happiness. For the first time, feeling pain is not health!

The day he left the doctor find in a few grains of my kidney stone, I was in pain, but pain of the heart. Therefore, healing at home on leave in January, body, heart, sometimes with life as like a country fair, touched on all touched. I average 16 hours a day listening to music, I play music in which only left the first. The first 28 days when the old lady down the floor, knocked on the door: girls, can not change the song to listen to?

Then I started to understand that the loss of, any case can not come back so, packed his luggage, left the dream is all I have known the city.

A few years later, when I think of it all can feel calm, I think, I really grew up. Can to take the life of my boring old tested. So I threw a bridal. A kind of loneliness, I hope very calm life, Do not know why stubborn never said a blessing. Often on the phone to congratulate the success of my career, congratulate me if only the little things that great sesame. But marriage is not blessed every time I feel it to the side, and been swallowed her religious ties back home. There is no blessing, no flowers, simple, hasty marriage to think I am naive, perhaps, this very calm and it be considered.

Marriage came to understand why there is an old saying: Every family mbt shoes sale has its cupboard. It seems the experience of fathers is wrong. After my home is not a good idea, even I want to be a nun that once dared not mention the chanting Ya things. My husband is a He wants me to cry, I can not laugh. I laugh, I must not cry. I dream of such happiness and religious ties, was taken away.

Finally, I can not imagine warm. Carrying a heavy cross in the raw stage singing one-man show. When the music scattered, but found no background ... ...

I asked my friends: What happiness? This time, he was speechless.

Perhaps I was a demon in past lives of children cursed it, this life is not destined to happiness, not to be blessed ... ...