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Old 05-26-2011, 02:19 PM   #1
kodybyan40se
 
Posts: n/a
Default 抢盐疯了

  下面说几个关于抢盐的QQ个性签名,都是原创抢盐笑话
  先发几个关于盐的歪词,盐荒子孙 淹[盐]死你 谣盐四起 妖盐惑众;盐而无信;相顾无盐,惟有泪千行;谣盐止于智者,看明天将来本地震真的让我们无盐以对。还有网友 预言,书籍会大幅涨价,由于:书中自有盐如玉
  第1个关于抢盐QQ个性签名
  记者在某超市2米不到咸鱼摊位边上有了最新发现,今天这里新增添了十位保安,据懂得,这是为了以避免有 人随便舔鱼,保安愤慨地告知记者说:昨天还好好的五条大咸鱼,硬是被舔成了淡水鱼。。。。。
  第2个抢盐QQ个性签名
  女:有房吗 男:不
  女:有存款吗 男:没有
  女:有车吗 男没有
  女:啥也没有还来相亲
  男:我有盐
  女:老公!!!
  第3个抢盐QQ个性签名
  今天某超市,众人争相抢购食盐,独一老太镇定自如在一旁选购其他商品,并不断摇头讥笑。旁人上前问她为 什么不抢,老太答:非典那年抢的还没吃完...
  第4抢盐QQ个性签名
  世上最疼痛的是什么?辐射来了,盐没了;世上最最痛苦的是什么?辐射来了,盐不好使;世上最最最苦楚的 是什么?辐射没来,盐买太多了;世上最最最最痛苦的是什么?人死了,盐没用完
  到最后,日本人没死,中国人吃盐吃多了,咸死了
  第5个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  【如何应用碘盐防辐射】 碘盐500克,脱衣,用刀每隔2-5CM斜着划一刀,将盐平均抹在身材名义,留神腋窝跟大腿内侧。接着将本人吊挂在透风、干燥的处所,七日后 即可到达辐射不侵的田地。小贴士:如能加香叶、胡椒、八角若干,防辐射后果更佳。
  抢了碘盐怎么防核辐射?很简单,按照如下做法: 1、先冲凉,洗清洁身体,如果有条件,最好刮毛; 2、擦干水分后,最好能把肉切开,开端全身抹盐; 3、全部抹盐结束后,最好挂在门口,或者阳台等通风处,风干; 4、如果有条件,最好能用稻谷、花生壳、或者松柏树枝点火熏烤; 6、如果喜欢麻辣味道的,可以撒点花椒、辣椒等。 等人被碘盐都腌透了,别说防核辐射了,就连苍蝇、肉蛆都能防。
  第6个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  叫外卖:麻烦你给送一份卤肉饭啊。
  饭店:你要哪一款卤肉饭?
  不放盐的15,
  放盐的30,
  双份加盐的50,
  我们最近还特殊推出“�死你”超值碘盐防辐射皇家尊贵卤肉饭套餐,只要98哟,另送一瓶碘 酒
  第7个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  老婆留下了一纸离婚协定,房产证,存折都没拿,只拿走了调料盒
  第8个于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  市政公用局警告市民:途径融雪用盐为产业用盐,含有多种有害元素,请即时结束舔马路的行动 !
  第9个于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  全国的超市盐、酱油、黄酱啥的都在抢,比日本人还难民。。。。。。。。。。
  第10个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  世人抢盐。老爹问:买否?答曰:别急。有赖于食物保险大环境的练习有素,国人把瘦肉精猪、激素鸡与激素 鱼、苏丹红蛋、三聚氰胺牛奶、砷制拉面、一滴香火锅 、癌增白剂面粉……全然潇洒吞进肚里,百毒早在周遭,还须怕那个核污染盐?再者,没盐,吃豉油去,那么大一 个海天酱油厂在面前,还怕什么。
  第11个盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  日本人地震没死,海啸没死,核辐射没死,结果当听说大洋彼岸沿海城市的中国人疯抢食用盐后,全部笑死了 !!
  第12个关于盐的搞笑个性签名
  日本如斯紧急关头,奥特曼居然没有涌现,高达也金石为开,被人们寄托众望的圣斗士也消散了 , 美国表示不会派变形金刚去日本介入救助,但是不消除差遣忍者神龟的可能,中方表现,葫芦娃已在赶昔日本的途 中,孙悟空和黑猫警长临时接洽不上,喜羊羊表示压力很大
  第13于盐的搞笑个性签名
  无盐的结局
  曾经是对你说过这是个无盐的终局,跟着那岁月淡淡而去,
  我曾经说过如果有一天我将吃不到你,我就无法流下泪滴,
  但我要如何如何能停滞不吃你,我怎么能够怎么能够埋藏抢购回想
  啊,让我再看看你,让我再说爱你,不要从超市离去
  抢购时候说抢购,请不要说难忘却,就让那抢购淡淡地随风去
  兴许你会涨价,paul smith black,也许会更无盐,也许已没有也许
  第14个对于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  关于抢盐的笑话,网上正讨论炒菜没盐的话题时,一MM淡定的说“实在可以自己制作盐啊,当前炒菜没盐就 对着锅哭就行啦・・・”
  关于盐的笑话一个盐商人逝世后到了天堂,发明那里已经有了良多盐商人了,已经没有座位了。于是心生一计 ,大喊道:“地狱里发现盐矿了!” 其余人一哄而去,这个人看到其余人都去了,心想:难道地狱真的发现盐矿了?于是也随着去了。
  第15个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  不是套股吧的问题,浙江那边真的是一帮半老娘们儿一箱一箱在抢
  说是担忧海水污染
  日哦,中国盐矿多的10辈子都吃不完
  就算海水真的污染不会吃井盐啊
  这帮人也不晓得是太精仍是太傻
  第16个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  高于平时市价多少倍的价钱排板哈。抢盐的都是人才,也不想下谁是大老板。抢股那是为了挣钱,抢盐证实你 很有钱。
  经由这一夜的折腾磕磕碰碰在劫难逃,全国各地流点小血的人确定不会少吧!创可贴有搞头哈。兄弟快找股呵 。
  第17个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  世界上最痛苦的是什么:辐射来了,盐没了;世界上最最痛苦的是什么:辐射没来,盐买太多了;世界上最最 最痛苦的是什么:人辐射死了,盐还没用完。 盛大推出:“日本七日游:看海啸,观核爆,观赏地震美景,感触末日风情!单程船票,用度自理---管去不论回
  第18个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  青海湖有的是盐,柴达木盆地的公路也是用盐铺成的,四川自贡是自古以来的盐都,四川遂宁的死海有的是盐 。 中海内陆的盐足够把全世界所有的人都做成腊肉,完整没必要抢购食盐。 看到的友人们请转发,别再恐慌了
  第19个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  今天早上早早我堂弟给我电话说家里没盐卖了。唉。
  日自己地震没死,海啸没死,核辐射没死,结果当据说大洋此岸沿海城市的中国人疯抢食用盐后 ,全体笑死了
  第20个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  中国有个叫察尔汗盐湖,位于青海省格尔木市,是中国最大的盐湖,也是世界上最有名的内陆盐湖之一,察尔 汗盐湖中除富含钾盐外,还有氯化钠储量426.2亿吨,可供全世界人食用2000年!不法奸商辟谣说盐巴被 污染,傻子去买,进而演化成疯子也跟着不得不去买,都是一群SB,知道中国的盐场在那不,知道什么是万丈盐 桥不,知道柯柯盐场不,知道察尔汗不,自己国家的资源都不了解,就跟着瞎起哄。 转吧,让不知道的人不要再抢盐了
  第21个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  不是中国人无知,而是中国政府曾经的谣言爱维稳的心理,使盐从八毛涨到一块五。即然盐取之不尽用之不完 ,物价涨它也涨。盐多不见的价不涨。穷人还是多。统一片天地不同一样的人领导不一样
  第22个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  抢了碘盐怎么防核辐射?很简略,依照如下做法:
  1、先冲凉,洗干净身体,如果有条件,最好刮毛;
  2、擦干水分后,最好能把肉切开,开始全身抹盐;
  3、全部抹盐完毕后,最好挂在门口,或者阳台等通风处,风干;
  4、如果有前提,最好能用稻谷、花生壳、或者松柏树枝点火熏烤;
  6、假如爱好麻辣滋味的,能够撒点花椒、辣椒等。
  等人被碘盐都腌透了,别说防核辐射了,就连苍蝇、肉蛆都能防
  祝抢盐之士早日功效。
  第23个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  尊重的引导,我们相信盐会有的,但我们面临的是高价盐的问题!泱泱中国自古以来就把盐看做庶民的性命, 盐是我们日常生涯必不可少的食用品。明显是不不良商家成心囤盐哄高市场而导致的,要让这些人得到法律的制裁 才是咱们百姓最想要的成果!
  第24个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  【如何使用碘盐防辐射】 碘盐500克,脱衣,用刀每隔2-5CM斜着划一刀,将盐平匀抹在身体表面,注意腋窝和大腿内侧。接着将自己悬挂在通风、干燥的地方,七日后 即可达到辐射不侵的地步。小贴士:如能加香叶、胡椒、八角若干,防辐射效果更佳。
  第25个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  青海旮娃:
  这纯洁是不法奸商的不法行为,利用盐品的廉价特征、久长保留特性和生活必须性攫取暴利,他们应用广大仁 慈老百姓的心理运动和自保意识,将万里之遥的灾害联系起来,乘人之危、道德沦丧、唯利是图的大批扫货,引起 市场的恐慌,而后哄抬价格牟取暴利。
  我位于青海省产盐大省,这里所有都很稳固,大家不给奸商一点机遇,都在采用抵制奸商的做法给奸商们以经 济丧失的同时,踊跃配合稽察部分发展督查、没收举动,严打贩盐奸商,已经给予局部不法奸商以法律和经济的制 裁,基本没有必要中了奸
  第26个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  这几天10块钱排队购一包盐,反应出中国公民思维的倒退!是社会的悲剧!从这几天抢购盐事件中反映出, 我国国民已经不信任政府!以为政府所说的都是废话!以自个意思状态为主!恐怖!
  中国政府要加于注意了,产生这么大的事,政府到哪去了呢?为何政府不迭时有效的加鼎力度打击呢?别以为 这是小事,必定要严打严取消,这已经不此一次了,“非典”时代已经有过一次(一呼百应可怕吧)。。一定找出 源头重办啊!给后人来个告诫!给国民一个安祥的社会!来个先例吧!政府!
  第27个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  曾今听到过一个笑话,不知道大家有没有听过。是这样的:说有个人仰头看着天空,甲过来了,认为天上有什 么货色在也跟着一起看。乙过来了,看到甲也在看又跟着一起看,一时光凑集了很多人。甲乙都在问他,到底在看 什么呀!那人说自己留鼻血了,必需要昂着头!。。虽说这是个笑话,然而这也正式一种景象一种中国式现象,就 跟当初的抢盐一样的,一人跟风,万人哄抢,有必要吗?买个十报盐可以吃半年了,那些家里真正没盐的么没地方 买。淡定。淡定啊。。同道们,这一切都是谣盐。。谣盐。。
  第27个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  我公司领导在今晨7点紧迫召开全部职工大会,积极动员广大工友,发动广大百姓,参加此次抢盐打算,领导 们昨晚一夜未眠,彻夜长谈,针对此突发事件作出主要安排,我们行将兵分五路,突击宽大各中小型 商店,salvatore ferragamo sale,超市,猖狂抢盐,在今天下战书,队伍将提前攻入当地盐业公司,篡夺战役重要地点,预计在来日清晨,步队会 攻破邻近沿海所有盐场,为武装抢盐事业作出重大奉献。
  第28个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  此次缺盐都是浙江奸商炒作的,大家多转发,别让奸商卖高价盐给我吃,下面是浙江省宁波市盐务治理局宣布 的布告!
  昨天下昼开始(3月15日),市区内部分超市开始呈现小包装碘盐抢购苗头。目前已构成一定范畴内的抢购 风。
  经了解和剖析,引起此次食盐抢购的起因重要有两点:一是近期媒体宣扬及民间盛传补碘可预防核辐射;二是 认为海水品质将受到核污染,今后生产的海盐不平安,不能食用。
  为此,我市盐业部门积极做好食盐供应和宣传说明工作。
  一是目前我市各类小包装碘盐库存充分,惯例情形下可满意全市2个月的供应量。同时,当前全国盐产大于销 ,不存在食盐缺乏的问题。且全市供应的食盐种类以井矿盐为主,不存在海水传染的问题。而市区内设有国度食盐 定点出产企业,可持续生产,可以保障全市各类盐产品畸形供给。
  二是食盐是国家定价产品,目前我市盐产品价格稳定,不会涨价。对少数零售网点趁机奇货可居、哄抬盐价的 行为,我们将配合物价部门严格打击。
  三是因为部门居民听信传言,集中洽购,导致在盐的配送运输方面存在一定难度,可能导致部分零售网点无奈 正常及时投递。呐喊广大大众不要听信传言,依据实际须要感性采购食盐。
  第28个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  CCTV说核电站不会爆炸,结果爆炸了。专家马上说,其他两个机组不会爆炸,结果也爆炸了。专家接着说 ,即使核电站爆炸了,外壳能起到很好的维护作用,结果壳被炸飞了,专家启齿说即便泄漏也不会污染,结果东京 核辐射超标。刚CCTV又报道:中国事安全的.. 我一听眼泪都快下来了
  第29个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  今天我冲进超市,看到许多穷B看着超市的盐都流口水,是啊,这究竟不是一般人可能买得起的,我低调的走 从前,拿了所有的小包盐,足足有252包,所有人都震惊了,在推车出来的时候,我看到一个老奶奶哭着在说: 盐买不起,怎么办,怎么办?我家里老头子还等着吃盐汤呢~我看到了,立刻放了一包在她手上,她的双手发抖了 ,所有的穷B都爱慕的看着她,老奶奶冲动的问道:请问大侠尊姓?我笑了,发自心坎的笑,我说出了3个子:红 领巾!!!!顿时大家都再次被震惊了,雷鸣般的掌声顿时响起来了,我听到有两个美女谈论说:就是他,就是他 ,他就是那个红围巾!!!!我收拾了一下刚买的躺尸休闲服,还有那顶真维斯的帽子~就去买单,一美女收银员 见我有这么多袋盐,登时就害羞了,毕竟买得起这么多盐的人已经未几了!结完账我留了麻袋中的一包放在收银台 上,那个美女说:敬爱的,你的盐,我回眸一笑百媚生说到:是你的盐!顿时,掌声再次响起,我于是拿着剩下的 250袋盐回家了
  第30个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  就那么跟风,就那么怕你老婆啊,窝囊!!怎么不 去问哈市政,中国政府不能解决的事很多吗?你父母没有告诉你要相信党吗?傻批!!你是中国人吗?中国的察尔 汗盐湖。吃傻你去!!傻批!!你没有文明啊?还知道上网??傻成那个样子!气死我了。有文化的和没有文化的 一起起哄,委屈读书咯!!
  第31个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  我慎重的说一句:我是核能砖家,我是来造谣的。吃盐是不能抗核辐射的,吃甲由的抗辐射才能比吃盐的强5 58倍,discounted christian louboutin。吃盐防核辐射还不如吃蟑螂呢。
  第32个关于盐的搞笑QQ个性签名
  今天我冲进超市,看到很多穷B看着超市的盐都流口水,是啊,这毕竟不是普通人能够买得起的,我低调的走 过去,拿了所有的小包盐,足足有252包,所有人都震惊了,在推车出来的时候,我看到一个老奶奶哭着在说: 盐买不起,怎么办,怎么办?我家里老头子还等着吃盐汤呢~我看到了,马上放了一包在她手上,她的双手颤抖了 ,所有的穷B都羡慕的看着她,老奶奶激昂的问道:请问大侠贵姓?我笑了,发自内心的笑,我说出了3个子:红 领巾!!!!顿时大家都再次被震惊了,雷鸣般的掌声顿时响起来了,我听到有两个美女议论说:就是他,就是他 ,他就是那个红领巾!!!!我整顿了一下刚买的躺尸休闲服,还有那顶真维斯的帽子~就去买单,一美女收银员 见我有这么多袋盐,顿时就害羞了,毕竟买得起这么多盐的人已经不多了!结完账我留了麻袋中的一包放在收银台 上,那个美女说:心爱的,你的盐,我回眸一笑百媚生说到:是你的盐!顿时,掌声再次响起,我于是拿着剩下的 250袋盐回家了
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  我小店有卖,知道了,也没涨人家价,还跟他们说,只有这不地震,不海啸,啥你都不必怕!活人还怕让尿给 憋?吃不了盐,我吃酱油,吃不了酱油,我吃咸菜,吃了不了咸菜我吃咸鱼,吃不了咸鱼我吃话梅, 吃不了话梅,Abercrombie Necklaces,哈哈哈,无限无尽的盐盐在其中啊!。。。。。
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