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6022120 2010 年 09 月 08 日 21:25 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
Yuan Wei Xi
Liu Zhiyu
third year storm, the most crucial year Mathematics Competition, my world has lost a bright. At first the eyes just a little strange, as if in a cold place to stay for a long time, iris condensate a layer of cold dew, followed by astringent and pain. then it is mathematics review of the league the last two months of the sprint, I do question a day just reading the evening heat instincts to subside somewhat, to a return to the playground to watch the sunset . Pain in the eye will naturally think that soon, it's just really bad pain came to a halt a short break, then if there are many small sand in the eyes rolling. Gradually, I need a nap, and gradually, I just started watching books, sore eyes, until I found myself walking must constantly blinking, or even a whole day without reading the morning together, the eyes have been dry harder and harder.
how I spent this year it? In order to see a doctor, traveled to the city's major hospitals. Home with the school moved to the wilderness, sometimes early in the morning to hurry up and catch the early morning of the cars, the streets of unfamiliar and repeated, Yong Yong shouting on both sides of the buildings and vehicles, like water flowing from my heart,
nike air force one 25th, little by little accumulation and flooded the earth. Sometimes a traffic jam around the picture on the coagulation in there, I do not know the thinking, but to watch the sun rose higher and higher. Hospitals are full of people waiting in line, not the least bit bright colors, not a doctor for my smile. Sprinkle over the white fluorescent light, I leaned against a row of crooked blue seat, when my mother would help me read the book a while, and hearing tired, I stumbled against her lap sleep. Wake up, it was my turn. Repeat over and over again the feeling of the eyes, the mother next to me said, I too was wrong, she said, sometimes loudly refuted, the doctor will allow me to make a variety of checks, check the room dark, cold and touch the instruments to my eyes, a strong direct light over the eyelids were opened, over time that eyes were filled with all sorts of strange colors and images, a lot of pain but also strongly than usual. Doctors can be divided into many categories, self-confident, ambiguous, and there is sensational, three out of three hospitals to diagnose eye diseases, out of three prescriptions, which are not valid. Read the disease, has been deep down the night.
eyes occasionally for some time suddenly like some, this time I started reading, and to plan the future with enthusiasm, so a few days, as if the eye has been forgotten by me, has become a mottled memory. But the intense pain from a sudden one morning start, I can not read again, all hope of fantasy in an instant into the past. A little bit dark in my world come.
first round ended, I found that even without eyes, and as math is not so difficult. Note the graphics do not remember, put it into the local, if you can not write a note on the entire map, but each to a junction, you will know how to walk the same. The day before the game, I play badminton about Yin. The afternoon the heavy rain, water flowing down from the edge of the umbrella, from the steps and along the upper house down around the overflow in the low places. I climbed the fifth floor of the classroom to find him, and through the entire film on campus, to the sixth floor of the bedroom to find him. The world's wilderness, the teaching building of red and white at the moment also appears bleak. A drop of water drip into my eyes,
air force one, cool. I am behind the hot and humid there, I do not know sweat is also rain. Did not find him so many times, unknowingly went to the classroom building's top. I think Yin must be very anxious at this time, looking for me everywhere, and in blame me, others missed the time he was always very concerned about. I'm looking for a man,
air force 1 low shoes, I went to the window want to see something. At this time, wind and rain, such as dark, I saw the whole are solidified in a gray wasteland into the rain so the next, as if the statue of flowing, as if I am, this campus, along with all the hope and despair here, have not existed, I suddenly froze, as if they dream. Yin Just then came from me.
Award and would like to walk and would like on a good university ah. Just with the glasses, head a shake, shake the whole world in front, sometimes obviously spotted the ball flying over a beat playing in the past, but I called empty. Yin swing is very strong, forcing me running back and forth. My arm tingling, and chest pressure as a stone as the temple as if to explode. Almost an hour, we left the stadium. I said I know. Know what he said? I say the eyes can not see, the body can not move that is like this, but the fighting, fighting to the last minute.
League Gufen day self-study room, forget the atmosphere. Head of the culvert with a wry smile to the answer to everyone for an examination room he had been aware of his over, his movements are still very deft, but only out of habit, even as if sleepwalking. The answer was to throw glanced to pick up bags left; was a question of a question taken seriously, and she even answered every step of the tight grip handle the answer, as if the weight of their own lives on the line in this on little scraps of paper on top, then began to weep to see, but still insist on reading the last word; Yin sat quietly self-study, did not see the answer at a glance, he saw that an Entrance Exam book. No yelling,
耐心看的人早晚会成人上人 - Qzone日志, no one cried, classrooms facing balcony - we had study hall in a number of corridors through the sun does not enter the classroom, and later moved here - now the whole room is always filled a layer of autumn golden days. This, like a great funeral.
Lin came to my side, well, may be the point question, five great. I am a man staring at the answer, I think I do very bad big issue, only a small problem might be too wide for only the second round of the score line, this possibility is very small, who can guarantee that slip did not do, but I When a small state does a good question. I recalled a question a question, compare, actually is an incredible all right.
heart could not contain the excitement, I looked up, but those who are facing the bitter eyes. Air China came did not test well, you have to refuel ah. One night, when the teacher announced the formal dissolution of the mathematics group, the aircraft actually are large red podium wrote, scores for the forest and aircraft to fight, so they go to the next round, and ensure that they get the first prize, and recommended no problem, let them out with the preparations. Three corner points of the three sitting in the classroom, and many neat blue desk upper Eau golden sun, the moment, I felt a hope and joy, this is the first time in two months. This day we did a test question, I have a question will not do, when I saw the forest in the long-standing indifference to the look that answer, I actually felt a tension and jealousy. In fact, we all know that I am the only three possible into the next round, but they were just with me, they are likely to attend college entrance examination and, if so, now they are a waste of time. Just me, maybe we do not want to admit it immediately.
a long time ago that this is a lake on the waves in this wasteland. There are bridges on the lake, on both sides of the bridge with heterozygous plants and duckweed, leading to those remote towns; lake with island, overlooking the evening can only vaguely see the outline of pine tower, a long embankment to the island through , the dike is full of rubble; Central Link will be here after, construction sites all over, when the night deep down, lights arranged in a straight line, both ends of the unlimited extension of the, fireworks rising up in every corner of the wilderness, bloom, off, scattered to the four; many paths in the lakeside spread the end of the trail, there are clear blue sky, reflecting the crescent lake, there is a wall full of wild thorns behind walls and flowing pink clouds, there are the graves of my ancestors, under a golden sunset hills and fields, there is a wooden boat, parked in the green trees.
I really want to, in this mysterious distant lake, the occurrence of some stories, some cheerful stories, some on pure friendship and love stories, some told us that winter will pass, the light will eventually come fable ... ...
new self-study room, often I am the only one. Four heavy wooden table, with three people had only a picture carried in force, I was standing next to do-because I know my power is negligible in front of the table. It kind of my four tables nose can not stand the weird smell, so no matter how cold the wind much, study rooms open window. For those drawers full of the smell, I was never afraid to open, so I piled the books on in disorder to me but also goes wider than my arms deep red table. Self-study room, often not clean, because week to do a health. Lin has a habit of reading a book while curled legs, tear the side of the scratch paper and then mount into the form triangle strips, so that he sometimes went to tear some of his paper was that the bored, the more serious tear him more energetic, so above and table often covered with paper of various shapes. study room is a transformation of a small office near the gate of the wall hangs a white board, just not common.
I used one with closed eyes, thinking is the subject of the day, came up with to open your eyes to see the next question, then close your eyes and remember the subject of meditation on, and sometimes stand up and circulate. In this way often wander sometimes encounter the subject of much computation, calculation had opened his eyes, then every few seconds to close your eyes and look at rest. Sometimes one can not make the morning to subject, full of mind is a strange idea, simply to wander around the campus. More dry days, I found that water vapor will make the eyes comfortable to wear a mask, call out of the mouth of the water diverted to the eye in air, a breath, glasses and to pour a lot of mist, see things vast expanse. Also slightly golden morning clouds, the birds sometimes frosted flower bed in the room stopped for, cool breeze blowing down the grass slope and raised, like a green wave. Wind in my head, face, wind, cold, and masks breath is warm,
air force one 25th, sometimes a flash, will feel that this is actually quite comfortable. I try to walk with eyes closed, through the eyes, still can feel the warmth of the sun, from the shade of a tree following through, but also felt that Huiming changes. Just stumbled several times, moving always careful, and sometimes feel that the turn, and opened his eyes and saw the eyes, in fact, also from very far away.
time I often go to class lectures, a person stay in study room, a sudden impulse to want to see a kind of my classmates, I went through a long corridor with no one to to the other end of the school building, I heard the familiar sound of reading, went out the window and see the neat table, rapt attention and the placing of a college entrance exam and I suddenly felt a alienated. Language teachers no longer talk about poetry, but monotonously hair test paper, doing questions, explain. Class, and I want to say a few words to find people no longer have anything to say.
seems familiar life is running out, as if I suddenly was thrown into a strange world. All through thick and thin over the past two years, all the common dream, as if all were isolated, as if has become a memory.
Yin for me to study every night, he shared with me a copy of his favorite novels. He escaped going to night classes, not only use us to a school building, no one to open a classroom. In the evening, night, like a kind of color and temperature of the material between the spread in the air, the huge campus is a little bit of the night, hidden in the semi-transparent, like the sea of clouds hid the mountain peaks, during the day and not many people who come to the place even more mysterious, The whirring sound of the wind sounded from many places. Opened the door, fluorescent lights flash a few have been lit, and the yin sitting at a table,
学日语.(日) - Qzone日志, no table, when we are sitting on the ground, I closed my eyes, he began to study. He read the one on ancient heroes and the story of their fate. Sometimes he stopped, I opened my eyes and looked at him,
nike air force, in his delicate face, every trace of change, happy or angry have a very clear. He said a lot, he talked about every detail of the story, talked about what these details tell us, talked about how he liked to read the story about the story seen from the real world. He said a lot, but I have nothing to say, some things I thought of that, but if not once you say it with my own voice, I feel these things are hazy, took place in another world, they may be right, but they untied my mind. Thoughts from my mind was raw, as if the pressure of a big rock, that did not mean to do anything during the day and always follow God, actually seems like sleepwalking, though not to listen to his story of God to go, but did not feel the joy it seems to be overwhelmed by this story, more a heavy heart. Sleep at night, dressed in armor story that dance around the fire warriors to appear in front of me, my mind seemed to be engulfed by these images of shaking.
Yin and I had a fight that day he read to the late school years, my mother came to school to find us. She came from the city every night to study for my math problems. She said: want to read it. you want the college entrance examination, which will affect your learning. You equal discussion. more or less things. much, you actually can say our discussion a few days ago I mean, are you with the echo, how hypocritical you are a man you know? you go on like this life can only go back with someone else, even if you can not discuss with me. Having left the classroom.
I am a person stay in an empty classroom for a long time, if not a hint of the strength to stand up. I want my life to do so can only spend it? Sleepy panic, the words that will always be repeated to others, always will be few more people out of the subject, never find their own home. So I thought, I think the joy of escape from all of the previous two years that did not happen, like the dissipation of the same cherished the past few days, and the sophomore is always a time of high, but the more true the more I recall as if the joy is just my fantasy. My life is really only a miserable it? I'm so looking for someone, find someone to listen to me tell, it will give me comfort. But just now there is such a person gone. Many outside the tummy flat window glass moth wings, I see clearly with their wings all the gray powder stripes.
I left the room, turn out the lights, dark eyes, my feet suddenly bolted and ran their own breath, the wind howling, the black outline of the building around me swaying. I went to a pond pond, back to the pond, heel vacant, to support the weight of the body on the toes. I rushed to the empty playground, over the railing to climb the stands, rushed along the top of the steps in one breath, usually does not allow us to climb up the high tower, in the above ah jumping and dancing. I was tired, covered with heat, squatted under the canvas roof high breath, I wear a mask, through the mist on the lens, the light stick figure in the sun as if to issue gold, scattered into a bright one. There is a saying in my heart more and more clear.
world is great, no one can carry, although I only thing living beings
wide, no one person can set my
next day, listening to what the students did not know there is some spirit of the people, and yesterday shouted in the playground at night, half the school heard. It was confirmed that psychiatric patients are often able to give some words of wisdom, said yesterday it is a logic of absolute truth, he shouted three times is This is actually the time of our lunch conversation.
the next six months, I did not say yin to be a few words. The third year, I have been hoping, hoping the sun rises tomorrow, then everything can get better. There were times I thought this day has finally arrived, but before long, perhaps two, perhaps a week, I found still, is it familiar and very strange scene, is that more and more monotonous wasteland .
Lin came to my side and sometimes wandering, he turned a few laps to race preparations going to ask me, every time we say a few words he was thinking about leaving. In the last conversation he always patted my shoulder and said: When he first entered school mathematics competition has finished all the learning content, however, all except mathematics courses beyond the mess. Once he actually had a go against the choice of chemical, chemistry teacher to his face in front of the class will be Why choose NaCl,
air force one low, he said he knew only NaCl. He does not care about other people's fun, because every time he saw someone always thinking math problems when the walk glance, then said: This habit soon spread to me, and quickly spread throughout the mathematics group. Until I regret my frivolous, began to want to change the Mathematics Section of the atmosphere, I talked with him several times, the last two people will fight for a meeting. I can not stand to look at options in the high time of one semester to go home self-study, and no two separate things down. I'm almost a sophomore enrolled in all the competitions, Lin patted my shoulder and said: I have math first prize one year, he second prize, one point difference. At that time his strength but it is still better than me, I have been to keep up with his goal. But he does not want to engage in sophomore race, he said the competition problems have done what was meant, but some mechanical training, rigid thinking people, but then ignoring the real deep mathematical ideas. And even if he does not learn math the year, third year still consider the first prize walk. High School throughout the year, he is learning college mathematics textbooks. I also learned a race six months,
爱或不爱 - Qzone日志, he did feel entitled to do every day boring, and I began to learn the knowledge of some universities, do not know when I have to ask him a lot of their ideas but also to discuss with him, and then Middle School review it before the exam a few months, the group actually formed a kind of mathematics academic culture.
But soon, Lin sat down at the Entrance Exam to the classroom, began to learn that he used to despise the discipline. First prize winners of the league does not have him, even without the prize he originally thought, the school will give him what a self-enrollment, but enrollment this year's self-examination to the real thing, in addition to mathematics, he has every door the risk linked to red light. That saw him a few days to learn in the classroom ah serious study, he's a month of that first try, he did not try how do you know what you've learned not learn better learn it? The first day he announced that he was pleased to find out what chemical reactions, and his confidence in the future. Those few days I have been afraid to come near him. At that time his classmates are teaching me football, I think this, and he learned the situation should be much like chemical, and by my play on the first day of a meters away from the scored according to Buddhism the experience of a, I This does not think he admitted to the University is not possible, as I lead on behalf of the Chinese soccer team won the World Cup is not out the same. The teacher said it could not pass the college entrance examination if he can go directly to the examination for graduate studies, which as long as the test in English and mathematics.
than a week, the official list of winners down, and this time the list, the first back to the transcript of his score wrong. This time he really was misery. Every evening I stood outside a classroom on the fifth floor balcony, saw him and his girlfriend in front of those side by side down the canteen was short of the bluestone steps. His girlfriend looked thin, so every time he appears in my mind, especially tall.
I'm going to the next round, it was a warm southern city. I would also classmates with the last meal. We are finished, leaving only the Han to accompany me to stay. I said: help got who? a good result, if he did not, the people around them do not, they will think this is a failure for three years. people still want a little face, in other words, that is dignity. I suddenly said: I said: What is true happiness? high time to write one article, he said the sky is so vast, he is often to look up to sky At noon we go to dinner late, because it avoids queuing delays, do a few of the question. At that time the sky is always blue, the world's so transparent clarity, when the school was still city. Walked down the empty school building at noon, through the avenue, the heart you can almost unlimited extension in all directions. We just go on the road, when we spoke of science experiments, our math group, and especially excited to discuss the language lessons to the article, thinking. When we arrived, the cafeteria has not a few people, two side dishes we eat and chat. He never very strong, he was not engaged in a junior competition, it relied on the first three months of study, he should have done a freshman in high school leagues across the province are not the subject of a few people will do, although it was later discovered the vulnerability. That afternoon he was in the office of assistant teacher count count ah, ah, to make up this loophole. That day I also think of ways to help him, until the dizzy, I walked out of the office, alone in the corridor on the new school language class reading poetry, there is a segment seems to be this: You are setting sun / I am a broken wind flowing flag / you swayed my pale face / show the golden glory. I went to the playground in a circle, a Friday afternoon, only one person standing there looking at the sky. When I came back he was still kept calculation, until the next day, he told me he did not make the fundamental flaw, he has found a counterexample. Second prize that year and I Yin, he and Lin third place. He is the hardest math group, every time I asked where he learned, always shouting, He began a very strict control, in one class meeting to discuss the discipline of the class, he actually was the person under the coax down. Then he slowly turned into a very pleasant person, and everyone relations are good. He did not get High School Mathematics Prize, he took part in computing game, did not get first prize. He later said that his ideal is to come up with a true artificial intelligence.
I said: true meaning for me, in this Dianpei into it. But do not worry, the mentality of the results will not affect my game, my goal is simple: the world. a sophomore music when I moved, I came to the lake, go on the lake island. Aircraft to take off, in front of an empty desert boundless sky.
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