55 of the {livestock} joke , {also} {comic} , you

1, the day in a friend's house, the phone did not know where did not find it, to lend a friend's phone call about his girlfriend and listen to where it is. I enter my number, one press dial button, the shade shows that she saved my name: SB3 (then pleased, but fortunately a third ...)
2, when I dig pocket, a key out, was not found, then go back and look!
a pair of juvenile lovers in the street where the man suddenly said excitedly: Who? In the end is this?
I thought is the key to speedily say: My, my! My
later studied, had that woman pregnant. . . . Poor my face ah. . . Pain for a few days
3, opened today in the school group conferences, sudden accidental sneezed, looked up, it was found in front of the girls nose Biao to the back of the woman and not aware of, so secretly want to help her expunge, just his hand up, next to the girl discovered, shouting a cup of dry for a stomach have answered. . .
rushed to the toilet, not stand on spewing out of the full one place ah. . . . Rustled the mouth back to sit down, nothing like people. After a when, a friend got up and said to the toilet,Nike Shox Monster, I kindly advice: money aperture in the
7, medium school, a job done well, work on the teacher gave me this batch of two words, redo,
2 morning I went to Mai Zaodian, and then the action of this to help me pay him the same table,
the maximum prestigious places, and he wrote back in the redo age one, do not do. paid,
Next, on a tragedy,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, more tragic is the graduate soon, he told me ,,,,,,
8, in the mobbed avenues back to go short-handed whistle broke the sound, not react, a Buick commercial vehicle to hit my elbows; I did not get offended, equitable gently took out the opener, in the way of its progress all along The blueprint of the Road graceful arbitrage
9, in a stall to buy socks, a couple of low, had to buy thirty pairs, the results of merely dark models of the same, selling socks Huyou I said, a color is good, lost a altitude who tin take the additional tin not discern ... I thought also, so bought a thirty pairs ....
So two days a change of ...
Results After nearly two months, I really could not stand the same chart, and said: lazy you a lot, how two months you do not even say for a pair of socks
I :....
10 recent cooling of the expressway to see a strong man, open cars roadster, wearing a motorcycle helmet.
11, on a whim, to take their own photos as desktop ... and then my microprocessor on poisoned ...
12, high school with theory nonsense
Petrochemical ... ...
after a while I
do it online to find a wife the day before yesterday
financial software, I'll give her computer, I sit and watch, wife of skilled open www.google.com, type in the quest bar Open Baidu, something she continues to find - - +
now, I'm looking fknow next to nothing ofmething that will be with his wife, to google Baidu, ... ...
14, say the students parents.
the beginning of love his parents. One day to go shopping,Nike Shox Butikk, his mom took a idea to a jacket, yet a look at the amount to pull his father away.
his father said: we can not supply can not attempt? His father on his mother and forcibly into the closet room.
change out of his mother, his father a look at the East West Chou Chou, took his mother ran, said: Run! While the salesperson is not!
his mother wearing the jacket, label drifting out, shuffled out at his father flew, just passing through a pillar, his mother holding a calling post. His father back serious, said: Run! You are not waiting to be caught ah?
his mother cried even more fiercely. Then his dad laughed: ha ha ha ha ... ... clothes when you go in the money I paid ahead.
15, batch jobs, see the students do not paint geometric problems, readily Comments: No chart no fact ~



16, his girlfriend would like to retard the bill, bring text messages to 10086: I The bill left the digit of
17, students A automobile chance, thigh fracture, hospitalization
few of us went to see him play good students entered the inpatient
met him on my parents
quickly went to ask A's condition on the results of an open
becomes
.
18, in high school, the most funny thing that would
money, we often chip in to buy cigarettes, I was two and my buddy just bought a Heyan
prepared to go to the restroom pumping the results to level, the class teacher's class, forget it
first class when the class to see the guy lurking wrote a memorandum, then rub a large group, I was thrown over
see the class teacher, class teacher directly down and taken away, standing on the podium began to read
perspiration ing, whether I kas long asis written is valid, I would preferably not swallow her
teacher and a mouth: (my nickname, if there are perplexing one hundred students to recognize me, I) br> afflict ... ...
classic appeared

19, my roommates make amusement of me, my wallet invisible in a little carton, MD The problem is that little box that I sent to Guangzhou to Nvwang a award sent to me too many bad two days after the discovery his wallet was gone. I am in Wuhan, my identity card, bank card, his girlfriend of photographs in Guangzhou Nvwang hands.
20, Yesterday at Wal-Mart, suddenly ache my abdomen, suppressing explosion into the lavatory, just an earth-shattering blasts began to squat, the results of the children next door and rupture into tears, her mother asked her how, she said, smelly ~ ~
21, arrived in the coastal, discharging is completed. The appendix of an discipline mission is to behaviour anti-landing exercise garrison department, and everyone flew the vehicle to prepare. I was weight-bearing wheels with grease gun to grease, portly division political commissar standing behind me a moment and said with concern: small comrades hard it! I did not anticipate tanks to thrust the morale of 12 wheels, tanks, infantry not simple ah! I was moved almost to tears
.
22, high school class when we get together is always smoking
day I happen to have a more elated of things to narrate you the results I smoked slow
other people smoked, and I left half-root, look hasty to class, huge mouth suck two
pedagogue suddenly came in, I asked myself a thrown on the floor, their feet, but just a tread
cigarette smoke into the two had to hold your respiration
have seen the class teacher, came over and asked me, you is not smoking it
I shook my head
teacher: teacher talk
persisted shaking his pate
anger: you gave me to talk
me: ... pumping ... I do not smoke ... ... (by with the cloud from the nostril and mouth constantly vomiting)
teacher did not choked laugh ... ...
23, today, work colleagues and I went out to dinner, we were a point tray chili scrambled egg, and found hair and colleagues use chopsticks cilia, shouting, you see the boss ~ ~ What is this? Boss a look, oh cry ~ called, to, come here,Nike Shox R4! To the lady for a pair of chopsticks
24, spent 50 greenbacks on the Internet to buy a chip of hand-made face soap, with a day alternatively two at night meditative about the time that has been skinny with half of the above also have a soap spume, angry I am vomiting blood.
my dad said you this pleasing to use soap, bath covered with sleek.
25, the first Italian to eat pizza, do not know eat everything, on the point were 38 yuan plus 8 yuan to send a cheese pack.
complete meal and found something was lacking, I thought, had distant fewer cheese,
then cried: waiter, my share of cheese not on how ah? I have achieved, and also allows people to eat?
Waiter: Sir, you that have been poured in your cheese pizza a ...
me: all right, you go to a busy bar ...
26, at noon back to the tavern, I saw a cup Coke, direct a full beverage. Drinking my face was green. Quarters that the man had bought a sack of vinegar dumplings, no area to fall, with my glass installed. . .
27, topics like the teacher to join them, one day the teacher Topic: my people more mindless, and last night bath and forgot to turn off the gas ...
then my mom assisted me neat up the shambles on the side of the side said: So you definitely can not sin, because it naturally will depart evidence of a offense .. .
29, to complete a physical day,Nike Shox Sko Norge, not hungry, went to the cafeteria, many people, too crowded, and muddle, I call on the Dafan Aunt: , ladies who cook on the inside shouted: stream sounded, I do not know which day to slay the person in a blue ballpoint pen and drew a surround, jot, this is the killer ... ...



31, I live like a sophomore next door true anecdote ..
person A teacher at the school was found sleeping ... well done ..
he called a solution to the blackboard in front of the subject .....
not ready to write the words of public humiliation A
fact a blackboard the teacher did not come to him began to acid grades are so bad ..
defiance to sleep really shameless
school head is not at family ... only to sleep all day .. .
did not think he would actually write ... .. the solution is also very beautiful ...
teacher a morsel maladroit position ... had to let him back seat do not control him well ....
He really did not calculate the teacher was kind enough to choke one ....
I sleep for about
you will still not be the ask me
32, my brother went to a educate playing basket ball, listening to a low-grade girls to a low-grade boy asked: you say I love your ..
33, saying that my girlfriend hit a summer job in a mobile phone sell phone
Square One day at noon, luncheon time, almost not stores, my girlfriend next to the counter to the an uncle-class human ambition look at cell phone,Nike Shox R6, just that section of the counter not to dine the MM, weakly, looking like uncle also buy a mobile phone Zhu Er, no arm on the counter together with the branch heads, for MM Chest (crab) of relatively colossal, the uncle suddenly found seeing it to see MM's breast (crab) ditch, entire eyes look straight, my wife base out, would like to prompt that MM, MM no results reaction, later a few minutes, MM openings: Big Brother, watching ample? seen enough to buy a cell phone it ... ...
outcome uncle said nothing, bought a cell phone escaping for the door and fled on a ... ...
34, My friend said, a colleague of his relatives apt Xiamen, Xiamen, e relatives gave a anime, on the bus, the driver who saw by this e cartoon, ambitioned to ascertain the place, the driver stopped him and said: full read: the gate to maintain a balance, then they feel a shit to bring ... to an end, so he began to coerce, the force likewise secondhand unknowingly hand, the results of... I X, broken locks, I roll out.
you want your students at the students outside to see the scene?! a light (crab) Ding students suddenly rolled out from the toilet, going to the toilet is also accompanied by a PP in the spurt out from his , absolutely shocking!!! and a ground we basically knew, I X!! this life in front of their classmates gang inhibited the ...
36, the morning her husband took me to the unit left and then I suddenly received his text message: Bus windows were shut, the car smells wrong some people are naturally frown. But that ventilation of MM is very normal to her from his pocket and saw a fodder on the side of the mouth and open the window a breach, rapacious sucking the outside wind 。。。。。 would an average human ah =. =
38, our math teacher likes simulating to be comic to say a joke that no one smiled
our class argue a spoof on him, so the first thing he said when the school, we all laughed in unison
day he came in, was silent for a moment that his father died
I immediately jump out at laughing, others quiet.
39, water and soil it
see a cashier in a very serious cluster of coins
a few kids ran, ran to sing: in front of the downstream bridge over a group of ducks, Come Come and calculate, twenty-four thousand six hundred seventy-eight 。。。。
and then the cashier is depressed by half the number of coins to go back and re-number ....
40, high school boarding school, some students go home to let him take along something to help me, they send text messages: I seethe clothes and money.
41, and girlfriend, dating, see the front and my girlfriend like there's a, it took up below her ass.
she turned around and gave me a slap.
when somebody tap my shoulder I rotated approximately ...
girlfriend gave me a slap.
42, the day suddenly take a phone call: Oh, guess there is a gift! Not that I hang up! call to my office, said: posted to our Xinghua this company.
this newspaper actually is too sudden, while the two of us in the legion then do not say, sensibility particularly good few years ago lost adjoin, imagine that he suddenly came to our Xinghua I told him on the call, I swiftly went to elect him up their cooperative unit, obtain together at midday.
I went to their cooperative unit, boy!'s really impressive, all diplomatic management mode, connected the enterprise the door on cross-examination the barricade together, enroll, sign particularly rigid about my comrades who are stationed in units of people, I connected the company had coincided to guard.
I went to the old fellow said workshop, to see old comrades I nodded at me, and made a face. I average I do understand, not to rush, do not grant parlor, let me in the side after on.
I am bored silly, in the workshop in turn for a while, from the bag and took out a news point of outlook up in the mart door and suddenly there is a foreman who went to look behind me, stood nearby a security, he looked at me, patted my shoulder and said: That is the foreman, you do not even know he was still here what mix mix. point of others, got off the phone to send the patient to go to the oral medicine, I gently into the chamber, gently beat {awake|awake} patient, and said softly: Grandpa, up to steal edible right!
45, final night boiled crab, open water, I threw one crab kettle. crab is very fresh in the boiler tamper.
good wife to activity cautiously, you can not see this, then over his eyes can not hide behind me look.
I relieved said: Allison, we are not too marble?
wife: ah ... ... ... ... salt but?



46, sitting today bus, there is a one-stop driver asked: Do not install the
48, Dragon Boat Festival to go to the unit sent a box of milk and a bag of Thai rice Shanghao unit a petticoat colleague after work to help me help him push back home, downstairs, the colleagues I said: My husband was not home, hurry up! take more than, NND, that district where there are a lot of people know me. he wanted to remind her not to shout: . My husband was not home, hurry up, so impatient now! : Students, today, not class, school
50, one day more than four in one night a friend called to say the sentence: Q Do you have what matter. curse words on periodical, it says tomorrow, if you do not duplicate the contents of this paper 50 times, then sent to other people, will dead is difficult to see, and so on and so on. I was frightened of the students go home on the night quickly copied 50 The next day sent to others, sent out a few start, but then we know what it is, do not say that he fed to the paper, so the morning passed, and his hands also the collection of several dozen .
p.m., the first melody class, the teacher points to his appoint happened to him sing, I saw the tearful little boy stood up and said sadly: ah ....understand, but a lusty patriotism told he could not lose face in front of the Japanese, so he smiled and nodded blindly: 53, my wife and I play to the Reclining Buddha, his wife wade the road, so I carry her.
saw an old woman, serious, said: read the writing to see who you are. his wife is sick or go to the hospital early, Buddha is needless
54, the students peregrination, approached the top, a special excitement hilltop girls shouted: motherland,Nike Shox NZ, ah, my mother! then a trample on this exciting special woman hurrahing boys: the motherland ah, my wife's mother!
55, my house has been rented to a Japanese visitors, day visitors hit me that a phone with a not very eloquent in Chinese, said: running out, could you help me join it!