ck Shen Ke Log ( 92-96 )

Shen. (B) (2007/02/02)

about him.

She has such a small carton.
aunt said to her childhood fraught with all of his chips.
those words are very secret memory movie, they buried her bones, as she grew up, brewing fashion.
blurred by the imagination of the elemental picture, the more gradually clear.


his atrocities.



him time and time again that children hanging in the dome, severely whipped with a military orchestra.
only because of minor mistakes committed by children.
kicked, he was not allowed to eat.

the premier basic school for fun and linger late after school.
he threatened the children kneel at the gate, are not allowed to quit the half-step.
that is in the winter, he was kneeling on his whole night. not allow children to continue the next day
go to school, but children with high fever for almost tugging the body of a coma,
thick with barbed cane, headlong into the child's leg in.
regardless of how the children cried, he kept coiling as possessed as pumping.
until a neighbor came to reproach Wensheng, he lived hand. Leaving the child to a neighbor hastily ribboned the wound.

a whole winter of that year, the child's lower leg swelling and abscess, wounds fester.
walk lame lame.
he turned a blind eye, and even intensify their damage.


birthday eighteen children out of a car accident. Almost died.
hospital room.
to see him once, the language of the most turbulent intimidation of the children in bed.
and narrate the child that he is his burden.
child in his second day off in a huff, give up all sense of survival.
secretly squeeze the infusion decanter of medication, attempt to inject ventilation into his thigh context.
was nurse to detect, the children survived.

he certainly heard about the matter.
the day in the hospital, the child of a person slowly wade home.
then meet the child home, is still a meal whipped.


the child with his family since then no longer speak.
he was silent, began to grow with unbelievable tenacity, leaving him with both hands to make a living from the industry, to feed themselves.

children experience what, who knows.
national economic resumption that is new years.
child's success came quickly. Like a castle built on overnight.

when children wore in one day return to that home, then, he is emaciated, and looked polluted.
fled the camel, living far from Ireland.


the child, is her biological father.



she has loved her father.
If essential to have such an adjective would.
Yes, love.
and solution of physical geography between her father for his pacify, implied something.


pale she had seen signs of that circle, surrounded by her father in the small bone at the Tuixi.
she knew too many.
impression that her father's tantrum, the reason she should not be asked too early to ask questions.
at that time, she no longer questions. The years. About him.
just for her father did not like her so.



she was eight years old,GHD Hair, he had lived fall butme time back home.
he took her to sleep.
that summer night, his fingers into her quilt, shameful to needle into her legs.
her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep, feel his touch.
Sidongfeidong.
speak with obscure dirty.
imagine if her father saw the screen, would look like.
and she eventually equitable panic and carefully to keep it a mysterious. Like some variety of dirty and dangerous treasure.
she be buried in it a small box.
growth in her game.


she thought her aunt voicelessly.
coerced to approve that he was a fast handle weddings female.
marital the other half of big spenders, betrayal, split, come down.
proud juvenile man has been trivial floor into a brilliant dark brown.
her father's half-sister.
her aunt.

holding infancy, she had teeth,GHD Boho Chic Limited Edition, as in, look indignation.
whisper whisper stories over and over again. Also, like himself.



she saw a photograph of his youth.
wearing a military uniform. Features handsome.
without expression is in the smile, mouth suddenly there are lines of sadness.

she knew he had had 4 marriage.
and her father's own mom, his second wife. Birth to her father in the moment, bled to death.
must be at that time, he emulated the dead. With his wife to a strange obsession with all the feelings.

she think so.
seriously think.
Perhaps she does not detest him.
the kind of venom, but like branded in every drop of blood, genetic, innate.

in the bone. As deadly as prematurely into the heart.
may be in even earlier.
When she inadvertently day in the growing morning found,
who had venom leak into every part of her body, with her father remaining under eighteen years of anger that forbear. Shen. (C) (2007/02/12)

ward she went outside, leaning opposition the end of the corridor on the terrace, point a cigarette.
looked down from the ninth floor busy.
a bit cold.
her open palm and gently moved his fingers slightly Ma.

days obtaining dark.
mingled with a few ruddy and gray smokes wipe uncoordinated.

skillful to get the third branch, when suddenly someone started to put out fireworks,
cry to a huge roar in the sky had turned black ek a blossoming shine colors.
She froze for a few seconds. Pinch put out the smoke butts, back to the ward.

he had fallen asleep.

afternoon when he said, a taste of things to dine.
her to go buy a plum powder, slightly heated, inserted into the output tube in his mouth,GHD NZ,
islet see him greedily licking his lip, sucking salty.
so he tin only eat.

She stared at the sleeping he looked for a while, then got up and went and welcomed the nurse obligation apartment, and left.



She sat riverside, watching the water daze.
been a long time to go.
before she sat there like a half a day.

was approximately 10:00 pm.
think of morrow, but also get on early to the hospital to help him clean replaced the previous sets of pajamas, put away her cigarette, is ready to get up to go home.

a pair came from after whispered laughing.
girl's voice is very sweet.


is that familiar sweet smell.

her emotional back, seeing the curious girl's back.
subconsciously held onto the left arm.



she has not inquired YLJ sweet smell of fragrance that has a name.



05 in the summer.
is the final time she saw her.



kind of savor, is still clear as yesterday.





YLJ sitting on her bed.
wearing that lilac camisole, water pen drawing writing leisurely doodle with.
and she sat the other side of the soft chair, casually readily turned over the books, and occasionally look up at the YLJ one.

go? She hesitated a moment, try to ask in bed with the haphazard tone of people.
Well? Ah. Do not know. YLJ likewise heaved his brain, looked at her. Was then lowered his brain to paint.
he did not call? She asked.
buffet. But these days it seems more busy look. That had to come pick me free.
elegance. She looked down to read.
how you? I am here to bother you? YLJ raised his eyebrows.
She smiled, did not speak.
YLJ Fangxia Bi, staring at her. Dead child.

silent as a while.
she suddenly whispered, others how to?
would like chanting.
your parents like him. She asked.
grace. This is major to ah. YLJ slightly sarcastically deride the sound, changed the rank lazily lying in bed, when you come back from that?
a long time. How long did you go I will transfer the.
ah, I do not know it.
You naturally do not know.
definitely want me. YLJ smiling face in the pilin the absnece of hand bend at her.

she opened his mouth, say something.
something abrupt to rise up the graph in the breast. Such as inflame.


I feel occasionally can not accept many things.
YLJ suddenly mumbled. Face to the additional side, did not persist to see her.
but funny is every time when I did think,
certainly somebody will tell me, who I think can not accept, and in truth constantly is correct, I really absence.
afterward, I am sorrowful to not do the time, they will start their own compromise.
I think, in the end I do not usually do, or they are not customary.
I may ... ...
alternatively why only I am so sorry ... ...
then I would think that this problem may I ask you only one person, and just want to get an reply from you.

she did not speak. Head low down at the floor.

I'm afraid. YLJ buzzed like himself. I really miss you.


but no use ah, is not it? She said. Voice trembling slightly,
we do not get want.


good while, they all said no.

she looked up.



is the same as before, YLJ always refused to cry when given the slightest sound.

mouth slightly higher, with one air as if about to smile like, tick on the left face of a narrow dimple.
large pieces of skinny and tears slowly goes over the stubborn insolence. She stared fiercely


YLJ.
Then, indifferent, carried away to go.




last night.
they Suzhe feet sitting on the floor to speak.

send you a gift.
Well?
allows us to have it together.
true?
grace. You want it?
want.
started a morsel impair, you terrified of?
you give are not afraid.


What is this? She looked YLJ
sack out from the bed of the needle, a catheter and a bag of pearly crystalline matter things.

ice. YLJ gently said. I have been using it. I am happy.
I want us to have the same kind of feeling, think of us ... ...

her face staring YLJ goes quiet. Heart suddenly severe pain.
then nodded, and saw strong.


needle to perforate the blood vessels when the chilly she could not assist but took a deep breath, arched body.

That is what the strange emotion.

abruptly injected into the body.
a moment she could not hear whichever sound, but like all around filled with the most intense rumpus.
blood in the body like the howl with life-like, in the perversion of her fear to hear their quiet voices in the boiling.
rapidly bulging in the heart, is after hours break a camel excited.
every muscle seems up in the tremor.
abdominal cramping was so she could not exhale.
mind a blank.

left arm completely out of consciousness gradually.
she began to spasm.


forgotten for centuries.
back have all been drenched in perspiration.

She is like floating in another distortion of the world.
with only the hidden hand pulling her in all consciousness.
her like a person who is exceedingly exhausted, just sleepy, but was kept cruel hand to get up up.
hand on her body, welling up in her every compartment.
made her extra slumberous, but extra excited.

have dissimilar warmer hand gently stroking her hair.
struggling to clutch her hand, and its fingers linking.
a warm liquid drops on the face.
She looked up, whispered to the hand of the master said, let me hug you.
YLJ saying anything to kneel on the ground, Louguo her head.

languid clutch YLJ her clothes around the waist and sat up, face in her soft chest, listening to the versed sinking heart rhythm.
sense of pain with blurred and far.

her world, all of her shadow ... ...
anything was magnificent darkness brought about by the gentle swallow.



time.
she suddenly eager to die as
Shen (D) - on (2007/02/24)

time
little sad that you want to take you to the world
no delight, no grief, no appetite
want to embrace you anew, and your fingers intertwined, and our heating
no sound. There is only me and you.



she forever imagined she was in a morning.

big empty stadium.

YLJ sitting on the relentless staircase of the top wafer, exposing a length leg gently shaking laughs and beckoned her over.
She stood underneath, looking up at her. A time to forget the words. Sour nose.

there is a sudden cold feet.
suddenly down, do not know when the stadium has become an ocean.
trance forget where they are in, move does not move the body.
YLJ still called her.
intonation began anxiously.
Kuai Diana. Over ... ... what are you doing?

mouth she would like to answer, but incapable to pronounce any sound.
staring YLJ.
water had almost Yandao nape.
her hard on tiptoe.

come ah. How do you? Oh ... ...

rapid sound gradually became a big buzz.
she watched in horror as the rapid rise in the water around, a little bit up and drowned out their own.

sank.


wake.
mild shortness of breath.

her open eyes staring blankly at the ceiling for a meantime.
no longer sleep.
sat up, went out a dagger from under the pillow.

red has disappeared, merciless wrapped around it on the rusty deal.
tip will no longer be keen.

her arm extended out, looked him above those who across the ugly without fashioning scars.

some wounds have long healed, leaving some of the shades of pink scars, suffused with pale without normal light.
and a few thin the blood not entirely falling off the scab, a few weeks ago a new harm.

She clenched shank, slowly, the force began to draw down on bring ... to an end the wrist.
carefully to avert the tendons and blood vessels.


light shining dingy iron tip cross the new skin.
what, two, three times ... ...
detach blunt the pain of getting there.

she slowly mushroom the intensity of each outlet, seem to sculpture a picture-like converge and serious.
onward that line has been bulging the concave paddled location, next to the meat has started slightly Suixiao reveal the quality of fiber, oozing thin bloodshot.

gentle breathing down more gradually.
just slit the bruise is still faintly twitching.


the end of her dagger back into the pillow, lying down sideways, curled himself into a lukewarm pellet.
close your eyes.



the dagger.

she has been close at hand.
is their understanding of the second year of Christmas Eve, the first award exchange.
the same blade, to find a blacksmith's name carved into two, wrap the red line, one person one. Shen (D) - in (2007/03/01)

memory is the source of all tenderness.
lurking in the depths of the marrow.
she often heard them breathing.
to slow and gentle opinion, a little swallow all light.


medium school his father had been sent to a private boarding.
six years.

YLJ read in sixth grade when she came to alteration schools. Her two-year high.
was her bedroom in the same sequence.
are very quiet look.

their first real understanding, in that year's Christmas party organized by the school.

not only remember the merry day.
suddenly homesick.
is the third year into the school, and my father did not see her again.

when the school people are gathered in piles around the bonfire on the playground to eat, to see representations of each procedure year.
she sat unattended in the corner of the mob laugh, just silence down a daze.
to start playing the film when the blaze is extinguished, the playground becomes a dense mass.
her four teachers have looked at and judged to go first.

she likes to go with 4, Academic Building CD music classroom skylight on a large platform to listen to a half day.

day to go there when it found the platform has been in the.
look back a girl.
She did not say anything, walked alone the other side of the platform, looking down the playground.
the girls seem it took a while before Huiguo Shen was vigilant to the side, hastily turned and looked at her.
she Ce Toukan past. Startled by startled.
faint light melody in the schoolroom via the platform appearance, playing in their face.


YLJ hair in the wind is disorderly.
hanging a few lines of his face is not no tears in the dry.

see her, as if a mini correction, but to face, with a slightly surprised, petulant look into an instant they stared at her.
you see what ah, low-grade.

she stared YLJ. Do not speak.
air a bit mortified. They are a hard stiff
expression 大眼瞪小眼. Refused to yield.

moment.
she suddenly hum to laugh out.
YLJ smiled, wiped his face.

you doing here? YLJ side head to ask her.
do not know. You?
a person with adore to the transmit of Xia Zhuan.


that they sit side at side on the platform and began to chat.
forget what they said. In short no one then sorry.
was not happy, seems by far away things.

only remember that day very windswept, they sit closely together shivering.
When the school alarm rang 12 o'clock, the celebration ended, they returned to the hostel, his face frozen red.
is smile.


schools are all closed-end treatment.
students at the school has just two or three hundred people.
each class size is pathetic.
training teacher, teacher of life, a variety of professors, join up to more than the number of students.
The students are mostly from single-parent families, or will the rich and mighty children of cadres.
all dim and boring.


those days.

they will be going to night classes each secretly slipped out from his class,
go prevaricate with iron railings in front of the school opposite the house with food noodle shop to a small black dog funny come to play.
YLJ like the dog, always call it ink ink.
them every time the ink from the ink outside the narrow railing hold in, take it to school with the conceal in a garage until the big bus is a few hours.
to learn up ahead the end of the behind bedroom and then we sneak behind to the ink ink noodle shop employer namely very friendly.


every weekend, the city's educate children will go home with the home too.
school only twenty or thirty on the boarders. More space and quieter.
they two are in the field. That summer vacation and even a few years or even the New Year is the headmaster home.

a good digit of weekends, YLJ and she slept on in a small unattached bed.
YLJ always touching her cilia aside, legs mantled nigh her legs, whisper.

they got into a fight. My grandmother today to a tel call, grandmother cried.
said he hit her mother, her mother was not allowed to return to his grandmother.
you say, Why do adults like that ... ...
the old side of his shameless thing to do, one side then it is reasonable to educate their children, is more wayward bad ... ...

do you know Lian Bridge ?
Well?
later go there play with us.
What is that?
a small town far away. Before I came here, there lived a year.
very smart. Well ... ... a small town, so small namely merely thirty-four avenue look, but are next to the beautiful mountains and lakes.
really? Good. Then we go. I've always liked, grinding
aunt took me to the side to melodrama ... ...
have both sides of the high scarp ... ... Here is a few train tracks, corner onto the bridge to go slowly, there is huge lawn it.
really beautiful,GHD Dark Styler Straighteners, full of soft green. There are many strange flower tree. Small lake, transparent to decease.
Lian bridge large people are good busy Oh, ah ... ... busy doing commerce to make money, so the town next to the beautiful places that few people go.
wow ... ...
want, right? Want to smile, I'll take you ah.
Haha so how do you like the age male.
really like you ... ...
thing.
there ... ... the lake of tears lake name.
ah, a good listen. Why?
I accustomed to ask why the aunt, what is that old fable. Later she told me the results
mountain name is Pig Hill ... I would not ask any more questions.
... ...
big shambles of people to take the name ah. Other mountain they called Pumpkin Hill melon mountain. That charm is gone.
ha ha ... ... a good smile of the town.
Blessings.
that we own to the mountain Quganmingzi it.
Well ... ... What?
called ink is good ink mountain.
... ... you is not discerned cats and dogs from small to massive even want to cry a adjoin like ink ink.
was no. The label of the multi-nice ah.
good. It is called Mexican Mexican mountains.
Well ... ... that we have to go well beyond ink ink mountain.
really want to go ah? I then smiled. Mouth blanket big points.
... ...


that they go over the walls together.
YLJ was stabbed on the wall of the glass tip of the shoulder.
she could not help but made a fire, and called her fatuous.
YLJ no course justified her anger.

to the days when the garden club was away she ran to buy Band-Aid.
came back YLJ a person sitting there playing games, to see her back turned her head in the past. Still moping.

scrape quondam her tease her, his face a agreeable thing, I lick ...
YLJ sullenly or simulate to ignore her.
- uh babble - really ah lick you, metamorphosis, ha ha go away ... ...


YLJ birthday.
her pick out a big Snoopy fabric playthings.
not in the hostel while YLJ YLJ quietly on the bed, with a little card that says.

you are all my joy. No one replaced.
we are always together.

YLJ noon doze when we see dolls back to the dorm and a look of surprise cards.
she happy.
even two quarters as her classmate girl looked at her strange eyes. Have no time to meditation.


p.m. school recess.
her lying on the seat and watch TV.
back a few boys and girls sitting together does not know what to say.
sent waves of laughing.
boys accidentally loud up there.
ah - you are all my pleasure, no one to replace -
I love you!

her stiff stiff.

must be them.
noon they migrate that newborn ... they peruse the card ... ...

do not mistake it.

She looked down silent.
to pretend not to hear.


after a few weeks.
YLJ suddenly one day asked her if she was that day's card with the other two girls bedroom peep.
her slightly surprised,GHD Blue Styler Straighteners, how do you know?
YLJ furious, just know them. These days there are folk in our class passed us two entities. Nonsense. She suddenly burst

well done. Why do they do.
YLJ must have been the class of people made fun of it ... ...

lunch destroy that day the two girls back to the bedroom, she speedily went silent.
suddenly shoving the one with one of girls.
the girl a chance to react and hit the door.
loud roar up,


hand is also very inexpensive. Long after the quiet and effortless to do things that move me.

she achieved slowly, and turned away.
two girls did not look at that face.
YLJ sat on the bed staring at her.
long time to respond, eat and giggle together.

day after she and YLJ out with the original bedroom, two living in another empty bedroom.
YLJ proud for several days.
Kanba ... ... or I go to wear Luo, finally coincided to the ... ...
so that instructors still have to arrange a good relationship ... and life ... hehe.


and that thing, she has to mention two tacit no one had.
only when she felt. Even if muddle were the students pass, it does not stuff.

long, YLJ still.


they still nap together each night.
speak. Spooned.

you have dreams?
have ah.
What?
not tell you.
... ... I must come to know this ... ...
that your dream?
formerly thought ... ... Well, so have the competence to make a lot of money to many differ countries, purchase a lot of beautiful clothing, to disburse a lot of handsome boyfriend.
anthomaniac ah you.
Haha.
... ...
hey, you said, we ambition not actually transform a homo######ual?
rest guaranteed,GHD Hair Straighteners, I have not the slightest interest to you.
dead child, I have completely no interest to you. You Freeze ah.
Shajiao recklessly?
... ...
refers to what? Yi Long Jing sister?
Hey.
you say this ah?

range YLJ speak, her time to think, an urge, lips and carefully mallet YLJ lips.