55 of the {livestock} joke , {also} {comic} , you

1, the day in a friend's house, the phone did not know where did not find it, to lend a friend's phone call about his girlfriend and listen to where it is. I enter my number, one press turntable clasp, the screen shows that she saved my name: SB3 (then pleased, but fortunately a third ...)
2, when I dig pocket, a key out, was not found, then go back and look!
a pair of youth lovers in the street where the man suddenly said excitedly: Who? In the end is this?
I thought is the opener to speedily say: My, my! My
later studied, had that woman pregnant. . . . Poor my face ah. . . Pain for a few days
3, opened today in the school group conferences, sudden unexpected sneezed, looked up, it was found in front of the girls nose Biao to the back of the woman and not conscious of, so secretly want to help her wipe, just his hand up, next to the girl discovered, shouting a cup of dry for a stomach have responded. . .
rushed to the toilet, not stand on spewing out of the full one place ah. . . . Rustled the mouth back to sit down, nothing like people. After a while, a friend got up and said to the toilet, I kindly advice: money aperture in the
7, middle school, a job done well, work on the teacher gave me this batch of two words, redo,
2 morning I went to Mai Zaodian, and then the operation of this to help me pay him the same table,
the most classic places, and he wrote back in the redo old one, do not do. paid,
Next, on a tragedy,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, more tragic is the graduate presently, he told me ,,,,,,
8, in the thronged avenues behind to go short-handed whistle broke the sound, not react, a Buick advertisement traffic to hit my elbows; I did not get angry, just gently took out the key, in the lesson of its progress all along The maneuver of the Road graceful arc
9, in a stall to buy socks, a pair of inexpensive, had to buy thirty pairs, the results of only black models of the same, selling socks Huyou I said,Nike Shox Torch, a color is good, lost a top who can take the additional can not see ... I thought also, so bought a thirty pairs ....
So two days a change of ...
Results After almost 2 months, I really could not stand the same chart, and said: slothful you a lot, how two months you do not even say for a pair of socks
I :....
10 recent cooling of the expressway to see a strong man, caravans roadster, wearing a motorcycle helmet.
11, on a whim, to take their own photos for desktop ... and then my computer on poisoned ...
12, high school with methodology nonsense
Petrochemical ... ...
after a while I
do it online to find a wife the day before yesterday
fiscal software, I'll give her calculator,Nike Shox, I sit and watch, wife of skilled open www.google.com, type in the search bar Open Baidu, someone she continues to find - - +
immediately, I'm looking fknow next to nothing ofmething that will be with his wife, to google Baidu, ... ...
14, say the students parents.
the starting of love his parents. One day to go shopping, his mother took a fancy to a jacket, but a look at the price to drag his father away.
his father said: we can not afford can not try? His father on his mother and forcibly into the closet apartment.
change out of his mother, his father a look at the East West Chou Chou, took his mother ran, said: Run! While the salesperson is not!
his mom wearing the jacket, label drifting out, shuffled out along his dad flew, just passing via a pillar, his mama holding a tearful post. His father back solemn, said: Run! You are not waiting to be caught ah?
his mother cried even more fiercely. Then his dad laughed: ha ha ha ha ... ... clothing when you go in the money I paid ahead.
15, batch jobs, see the students do not draw geometric problems, readily Comments: No map no truth ~



16, his girlfriend would like to check the bill, send text messages to 10086: I The bill left the number of
17, students A car occurrence, leg fracture, hospitalization
few of us went to see him play good students entered the inpatient
met him on my parents
quickly went to inquire A's condition on the results of an open
becomes
.
18, in high school, the maximum funny thing that would
money, we often chip in to buy smokes, I was two and my buddy just bought a Heyan
ready to go to the toilet pumping the results to class, the class teacher's class, forget it
first class when the class to see the lad sneaking wrote a note, then rub a large group, I was darted over
see the class teacher, class teacher instantly down and taken away, standing on the podium began to read
perspiration ing, whether I kas long asis written is valid, I would preferably not swallow her
teacher and a mouth: (my nickname, if there are entangling one hundred students to recognize me, I) br> anguish ... ...
classic appeared

19, my roommates make amusement of me, my wallet invisible in a little box, MD The problem is that little box that I sent to Guangzhou to Nvwang a gift sent to me too many bad two days after the breakthrough his wallet was gone. I am in Wuhan, my personality card, bank card, his girlfriend of photographs in Guangzhou Nvwang hands.
20, Yesterday at Wal-Mart, suddenly ache my stomach, quelling rupture into the bathroom, just an earth-shattering eruptions began to crouch, the results of the babies next door and explosion into tears, her mother asked her how, she said, smelly ~ ~
21, arrived in the coastal, unloading is completed. The appendix of an discipline mission is to behaviour anti-landing exercise fort division, and everyone flew the vehicle to prepare. I was weight-bearing cycles with grease gun to grease, fat division political commissar standing behind me a moment and said with concern: small comrades hard it! I did not anticipate tanks to thrust the spirit of 12 cycles, tanks, soldiers not cozy ah! I was moved almost to tears
.
22, high school class when we get together is all smoking
day I happen to have a extra pride of things to acquaint you the results I smoked slow
other people smoked, and I left half-root, look rapid to class, huge mouth suck two
teacher suddenly came in, I asked myself a thrown on the floor, their feet, but just a tread
cigarette smoke into the two had to clutch your breath
have seen the class teacher, came over and asked me, you is not smoking it
I shook my head
teacher: teacher talk
persisted shaking his head
anger: you gave me to talk
me: ... pumping ... I do not smoke ... ... (onward with the smoke from the nose and mouth constantly vomiting)
teacher did not choked laugh ... ...
23, today, work colleagues and I went out to supper, we were a point tray chili scrambled eggs, and base hair and colleagues use chopsticks hair, hurrahing, you penetrate the employer ~ ~ What is this? Boss a see, oh wail ~ shrieked, to, come here! To the madame as a pair of chopsticks
24, spent 50 dollars on the Internet to buy a chip of hand-made face soap, with a day or two at night considering almost the time that has been slender with half of the above also have a soap spume, vexed I am spewing blood.
my dad said you this good to use soap, bath covered with slippery.
25, the first Italian to eat pizza, do not know eat anything, on the point were 38 yuan plus 8 yuan to send a cheese pack.
complete repast and found something was lacking, I thought, had far fewer cheese,
then cried: attendant, my share of cheese not on how ah? I have achieved, and also allows people to eat?
Waiter: Sir, you that have been poured in your cheese pizza a ...
me: all right, you go to a engaged bar ...
26, at noon back to the hotel, I saw a cup Coke, straight a full drink. Drinking my face was green. Quarters that the man had bought a bag of vinegar dumplings, no place to fall, with my cup installed. . .
27, topics like the teacher to add them, one day the teacher Topic: my people more forgetful, and final night bath and forgot to turn off the gas ...
then my mom helped me neat up the muff on the side of the side said: So you definitely can not sin, because it naturally will depart certify of a guilt .. .
29, to complete a physical day, not peckish, went to the restaurant, many people, too crowded, and confusion, I call on the Dafan Aunt: , ladies who cook on the inside shouted: flow sounded, I do not know which day to annihilate the person in a blue ballpoint pen and drew a surround, write, this is the killer ... ...



31, I live favor a sophomore afterward gate true fable ..
person A teacher at the school was found sleeping ... well done ..
he called a solution to the blackboard in front of the subject .....
not ready to write the words of public humiliation A
fact a blackboard the teacher did not come to him began to acid grades are so bad ..
challenge to sleep actually shameless
educate brain namely no by family ... only to slumber entire daytime .. .
did not think he would really write ... .. the solution is also very beautiful ...
teacher a bit ungainly situation ... had to let him back seat do not control him well ....
He actually did not think the teacher was kind enough to choke one ....
I sleep for about
you will still not be the ask me
32, my brother went to a school playing basketball, listening to a low-grade girls to a low-grade lad asked: you say I love your ..
33, saying that my girlfriend hit a summer job in a mobile phone sell call
Square One day at midday, lunch time, virtually no stores, my girlfriend next to the counter to the one uncle-class human ambition look at cell phone, just that section of the counter not to dine the MM, weakly, looking like uncle likewise buy a mobile phone Zhu Er, no arm ashore the counter together with the branch heads, because MM Chest (crab) of relatively great,Nike Shox NZ, the uncle suddenly found watching it to see MM's milk (crab) ditch, all eyes look straight, my wife found out, would like to remind that MM, MM no results reaction, after a few minutes, MM openings: Big Brother, seeing ample? seen ample to buy a cell phone it ... ...
result uncle said nothing, bought a cell phone running for the door and fled on a ... ...
34, My friend said, a companion of his relatives to Xiamen, Xiamen, e relatives gave a cartoon, on the bus, the driver who looked at this e cartoon, ambitioned to find the position, the driver stopped him and said: full read: the door to retain a equilibrium, then they feel a shit to bring an end to ..., so he began to compel, the coerce also secondhand unknowingly hand, the results of... I X, broken locks, I roll out.
you want your students at the students outside to see the scene?! a light (crab) Ding students suddenly rolled out from the toilet, going to the toilet is also accompanied by a PP in the jet out from his , indeed fearful!!! and a floor we basically knew, I X!! this life in front of their classmates gang suppressed the ...
36, the morning her husband took me to the unit left and then I suddenly received his text message: Bus windows were shut, the automobile smells wrong some people are indeed frown. But that ventilation of MM is quite normal to her from his pocket and saw a fodder on the side of the mouth and open the window a gap, ravenous sucking the appearance climate 。。。。。 would an average person ah =. =
38, our math preceptor likes simulating to be witty to say a joke that not one laughed
our class argue a spoof on him, so the first thing he said when the school, we all laughed in unison
day he came in, was silent for a moment that his father died
I immediately break out laughing, others pacify.
39, water and soil it
see a cashier in a very serious bunch of coins
a few kids ran, ran to sing: in front of the downstream bridge over a group of ducks, Come Come and count, twenty-four thousand six hundred seventy-eight 。。。。
and then the cashier is depressed by half the number of coins to go back and re-number ....
40, high school boarding school, some students go home to let him take along something to help me, they send text messages: I seethe clothes and money.
41, and girlfriend, dating, see the front and my girlfriend like there's a, it took up under her ass.
she turned approximately and gave me a slap.
when something pat my shoulder I turned around ...
girlfriend gave me a slap.
42, the day suddenly take a phone call: Oh, surmise there is a gift! Not that I hang up! call to my office, said: posted to our Xinghua this enterprise.
this news really is too sudden, when the two of us in the militia then do not say, feeling especially good few years ago lost adjoin, assume that he suddenly came to our Xinghua I told him on the phone, I immediately worked to pick him up their cooperative unit, obtain together at noon.
I went to their cooperative unit, boy!'s really impressive, all alien management mode, joined the enterprise the door on cross-examination the barricade together, register, sign particularly rigid about my comrades who are stationed in units of people, I joined the corporation had agreed to guard.
I went to the old fellow said workshop, to see old comrades I nodded at me, and made a face. I average I do know, not to rush, do not grant parlor, let me in the side afterward on.
I am bored silly, in the workshop in turn for a meantime, from the bag and took out a newspaper point of outlook up in the mart door and suddenly there is a boss who went to look behind me, stood nearby a security, he looked at me, patted my shoulder and said: That is the boss,Nike Shox R2, you do not even know he was still here what mingle mix. point of others, got off the phone to send the patient to go to the spoken medicine, I gently into the room, gently blow {awake|wake up} patient, and said softly: Grandpa, up to pilfer edible right!
45, last night boiled crab, open water, I threw one crab kettle. crab is very fresh in the boiler meddle.
agreeable wife to activity cautiously, you can not see this, then over his eyes tin not hide behind me look.
I relieved said: Allison, we are not too cruel?
wife: ah ... ... ... ... salt yet?



46, sitting today bus, there is a one-stop driver asked: Do not setup the
48, Dragon Boat Festival to go to the unit sent a box of milk and a bag of Thai rice Shanghao unit a female colleague after work to help me help him push back home, downstairs, the colleagues I said: My husband was not home, hurry up! take more than, NND, that district where there are a lot of people know me. he wanted to remind her not to shout: . My husband was not home, hurry up, so anxious now! : Students, today, not class, school
50, one day more than four in one night a friend called to say the sentence: Q Do you have what matter. damn words on paper, it says morrow, if you do not duplicate the contents of this paper 50 times, then sent to other people, will dead is complicated to see, and so on and so on. I was scared of the students go home on the night quickly copied 50 The next day sent to others, sent out a few begin, but then we know what it is, do not say that he fed to the paper, so the morning passed, and his hands also the collection of several dozen .
afternoon, the first melody level, the teacher points to his appoint happened to him sing, I saw the tearful little boy stood up and said sadly: ah ....understand, yet a mighty patriotism told he could not lose face in front of the Japanese, so he smiled and nodded blindly: 53, my wife and I play to the Reclining Buddha, his wife walk the road, so I carry her.
saw an old woman, serious, said: read the writing to see who you are. his wife is sick or go to the hospital early, Buddha is needless
54, the students voyage, approached the top,Nike Shox R3, a special excitement hilltop girls shouted: motherland, ah, my mother! then a trample on this inciting special woman shouting boys: the motherland ah, my wife's mother!
55, my house has been rented to a Japanese guests, day guests hit me that a phone with a not very mellifluous in Chinese, said: sprinting out,Nike Shox Norge, could you help me increase it!