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Old 03-12-2011, 11:32 AM   #1
zhongpingai
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Old 03-12-2011, 11:39 AM   #2
hae2ni7shuo
Second Lieutenant
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 366
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Default

相关的主题文章:


http://www.wtfgaming.org/user_blog.php

http://www.dacsnow.com/Flutter/entry...uo&e_id=405613

http://elgg.micds.org/pg/blog/ss3gtr5e/read/92182/

写下这个题目,是有感于最近看到的一位读者博客中朋友的博文,这位朋友叫辉元,她说她最爱玫瑰,我宁愿称呼 她为玫瑰。看过她的博文的人,也许会有和我相似的感觉,或有更深刻的感受,我不能自如地运用语言将自己表达 得淋漓尽致,一来是由于语言水平万分有限,二来是由于没有来得及仔细拜读她空间内更多的文章,因此,只能以 有限的字句来记载我的这一感动,倘若认真读了她的全部博文,我想会有更深层次的感触和对她更深的了解,那个 时候的感觉可能会更贴切,而此刻,我只能如实记载我此时的心情。1.老板:卖袜子啊!三块钱一 双啊!
我:廉价点嘛,十块钱三双!
老板:我进价都不止这个数啊,卖不了……
2:我有次去买羊肉串
伸出4个手指对老板说“来3根羊肉串”
老板蒙了“几根?”
我又伸出3个手指说“4根”……
3:我们的总司理姓周,一次他打德律风来,我正开车,qq团购,一告急张口就说:"周总理……"
4:半夜做饭,妈妈给我一盆胡萝卜:“去,把胡萝卜切成肉丁!”
5.我记得我上高中时,见一要好的哥们在校门外买大饼吃,你们也知道嘛,高中时代用脑过分时常会饿,我就顿 时跑下来先是捶了他一下,而后就夺下他的大饼就啃了一口,还骂骂咧咧的说,真不敷意气,买饼也不带我买一个 ,结果一口饼还没咽上来,抬眼一看才发明认错人了,这也就算了,我厥后竟然边说对不起还边把我咬了一口的那 个大饼往那男的手里一塞就跑了,全部历程趁热打铁,团购导航!!!
记得其时跑回学校大门往回看时,那男的还站在摊子前手拿谁人缺了个口的大饼发呆呢。我到如今偶然候想起这事 还不由得捶本身两下!!!!
6.买冰棍。1.5元。给老板10元。老板找零8.5元。然后把8.5元扔进垃圾桶。想一想不对,又把冰棍 扔进垃圾桶。手上留了一个冰糕纸……寒
末了自己在那里翻垃圾桶~
7:某日在米线店吃饭上得很慢很饿。终于按耐不住拍桌呼啸之,原本是想说再不上米线我就把桌子掀 了!
结果说成:"老板!!!!再不上米线我就把桌子吃了!!!!"
全店缄默沉静3秒后爆笑到桌子下面……丢人……
8.一天,我和表哥去赶公交车,十分困难等来一辆,可车上的人太多了,前门根本就挤不上.我们只幸亏前门刷 了卡,从后门上车,可车上的人着实太多,后门也挤不上.
于是,司机大哥就和我们探讨:"我先动员车,慢点开,你们跟在车后面跑跑."我和表哥这个烦闷啊:这算什么 措施啊?可也没有办法,只有跟在车屁股 后面跑.眼看车开出或许有十来米,溘然一个急刹车,车上的乘客操纵不住身体,全体倒向车的后面去了,后门一 下子腾出好大一块处所.这时,司机大哥自得地招 呼我们:"快上,快上......"
9:本人姓朱,办理单位机房。有次有人打我手机:“鸡科长,你在猪房吗?”当时狂骂那家伙一顿
10:单元祝词,一名向导说:“祝各人身材高兴……”憋住,北京团购网,没词了。
11:爸妈打骂,我爸气的说了句:"我给你滚进来!"
12:高中的时候打篮球,A得球后,忘我的传给了B,B轻松进球.过了一会,B得球,A大声喊着把球传给他 .B却自己把球投出.结果A震怒喊到:适才真是瞎了我的狗眼……
全场笑晕
13:大学的时候,我们问一个哥们曼联的战况怎样,他冲动的说:“曼联输了,贝克汉姆领到两张黄盘了局了! ”
14:印象里小学时的班长极为严峻,一次自习课,课堂里人声鼎沸,班长保护了几回秩序之后终于忍气吞声,站 起来一拍桌子咆哮道:谁再吵,把他嘴打断!!!……全班庄严
15:刚上大学,军训,连长不知道是那边的口音,喊口令――“向左钻!”“向右钻!”
16:高二时,我们的语文老师是一个刚从南昌调到北京的老西席,他的口音特重.他的儿子靠上了清华建筑系, 这也是他来北京的目标,他特为他儿子自满,总和我们提及他儿子,每次都这么说“偶(我)蛾(儿)子是青蛙( 清华)大学蟾蜍(修建)系的”...
蛾子要是到了田鸡和蟾蜍那边,不就成为了点心了吗...
17. 补缀电脑时,一口痰吐到了主机箱里,结果电脑弹启程现新硬件~
18. 一人正骑车飞奔,忽听有人唱:gogogo,心想:靠,我也会,啊累啊累只听轰的一声摔在沟里,这时旁边的 人说:傻逼,报告你沟沟沟,还骑
19:昨一共事问我。节日的节怎么写?我回答:草字头上面加一个节日的节去掉草字头!全部人员爆笑!我还临 时不反响过来~~~~~~~!
20:和领导等世人饮酒,举起羽觞高声道:"让我们同归于尽吧!"当时脑筋太热了......
21:老板,有无手纸果腹卡?
22:记得有一次去买一种叫伊丽莎白的瓜果,我张口就说:老板,莎士比亚几多钱?老板就地就呆了
23:经理散会一样平常对吸烟的说:抽烟的都掐死!!
24.一兄弟上厕所,结果误入女厕,出来之后发现没有小便池,觉得不合错误,幸好女厕内没有人。他便不动声 色地走进去。正在开门的时候,碰到一mm出去,那mm和他打一照面,脸一红,头一低,回身钻男 厕去了。
25.高中时间,班里一哥们,1981年生,不大,便是特老相......
下列是他坐公交时产生的一点事变:
高二时候,这哥们座公交去学校,由于道路长,百无聊赖的时候,邻座的一个35岁摆布的男人跟他搭话,那人张 嘴就来句:“大哥,去哪里?”
这哥们大概是日常遭受如许的报酬多了,也并不万分惊疑,颇清静的回答:“三中”。那男人第二句话:“噢,去 看孩子吧?孩子上学挺苦的......”
那哥们面部抽搐了一下,没吭声。
第三句话:“大哥,你孩子上几年龄了?”那哥们是真烦了,也不表明,顺口来了句:“高一”
这个时候,经典呈现了。那男子非常惊讶地瞪大眼睛看着那哥们,看了足足十秒钟,来了句:“年老,那您完婚但 是挺晚的啊!”
26.早上赶大众汽车,到站台的时候,汽车曾经启动了。于是我只好边追边喊:“师傅,等等我!师傅,等等我 呀!”
这时一搭客从车窗探出头来冲我说了一句:“悟空你就别追了。”
27.我上大学时跳过一个巨可骇的团体舞,必要连忙跌倒、高抬腿等暴烈的行动。大家没练几天就都不可了,混 身都是青的,有的腿部肌肉还拉伤,我伤得比力锋利。
下战书我去上课,在三楼,我的一条腿根本抬不起来,就那末硬往上走,的确就是把那条腿直着往上送。正走着, 闻声背面一个女孩跟她男友说:“照旧大都会的学校订规一些,在咱们故乡,这种小儿麻木的基础不克不及上学。 ”
我狂晕……
28.我在公交车里听到他人打电话到电台点歌,有一个男人打电话进去说:"我是外埠人,现在回家的车票买不 到了,只好在北京过年了。我想点首歌。"
主持人问他:"你想点歌送给谁?"
我当时还想这还用问,确定是远方的怙恃亲人了,谁晓得他却答复说:"我想点一首陈小春的《算你狠》,送给北 京站全部事情职员以及所有票市井!"
29.一道标题请求把如下四句话用联系关系词毗连:
1)、张海迪姐姐瘫痪了;
2)、张海迪姐姐坚强地学习;
3)、张海迪姐姐学会了多门外语;
4)、张海迪姐姐学会了针灸。
精确谜底应当是:"张海迪姐姐尽管瘫痪了,但顽强地学习,不但学会了多门外语,并且还学会了针 灸。
效果有一个孩子写:固然张海迪姐姐顽强地学会了针灸和多门外语,可她仍是瘫痪了。
又发现一个更猛的孩子写道:张海迪姐姐不光学会了外语,还学会了针灸,她那么顽强地学习,终于 瘫痪了
30.昨天去下乡观察,真正让我以为扬眉吐气了一回!
那天我们两小我私家在田间的巷子上看庄稼的长势,团购网站大全,远远的看到一群老外在围着一个本地的农人比比画划的.出于好奇,我偷偷的走到他们后面不远处,想听他们讲 些甚么.
那几个老外(大略是美国人),一边翻着一个雷同英汉辞书的小册子,上海团购网,一边用很不尺度的中文发音:如何,我,达到,外围.....
我想,哦,应当是在问路.很好奇我们的农夫兄弟见到老外怎么说.
那个农民兄弟一脸茫然.我想,唉,大哥意会本领过低了吧?
老外一看他听不懂,更急了:WE,我,大家 ,去,走,想要.....
那个农民兄弟还是一脸茫然...
老外更发急了,开端顿脚,冒汗...
这个时候这个五十多岁农民对着这群载歌载舞的美国人,说了一句让我觉得这次下乡考察劳绩最大的一句话:ca n you speaking english ?
31. 一天早晨和几个朋友喝酒,几个人都喝多了.一个到在路边睡着了,我们也抬不动他,就磋商给他找些工具盖上, 别着凉了.几天后见到他,他说次日醒来发现身上放着三辆自行车.
32. 葛优用饭途中上茅厕,返来后裤子湿了,朋侪:裤子怎么湿了?葛优:常常!朋友不解,葛优:每每是阁下的人撒 着尿忽然转过去大呼:我靠!这不是葛优吗?!
33. 大学时,一日全校门生大会,班主任想让体育委员盘点一下全班女生来齐没有。就对体育委员(一好色男生)说: 你去把全班女生清一下。体育委员被宠若惊,小声问:先亲……亲哪一个?老师想了一下子说:固然 是按学号来
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